Never Change

When I was nine I got my first real bike,
Summer nights, fireworks in the drive.
Purple buckets filled with rain,
Fields of wheat and lights shining on the backstreet.
And black trash bags block out all the light,
In the mirror I don't see my reflection right.
And Mama, she's in bed again,
Daddy's fixing dinner and doesn't know how long it's been.

Nothing ever stays the same,
I think you and I should never change.
Time will tell if we got it right,
This life.
Cause nothing ever stays the same.

Fifteen, it rolls around,
And your head is in the clouds more than your feet on the ground.
And I'd follow him wherever he led,
Until I found out that's just something that boys said.
Then there were sunny days,
Cucumber melon and The Eagles played something I could appreciate.
Before it was just not the same and it was too late.

Now I'm seventeen,
And it all became so clear to me.
Past family religion and all the suspicion,
I'll find out what I'm supposed to be.
But the hands of fate turn,
And I burn with unsaid words.
My chances shattered and the fragments clattered with sharp pieces of him,
That I would never see again.

Twenty-seven, you know where you're heading,
And wherever it is I'm heading there with you.
We'll roll the dice, pass some signs, stop down at ten buck two.
Stop for gas, wait in line, if the world stands still now we'll be just fine.

Because nothing ever stays the same,
And I think that you and I should never change.


When I sat down with my guitar my intention was to find something beautiful today. I wanted to create something worthwhile. I could write about lost love, pills, whiskey, or fairytale endings. I could write about everything that is wrong in our lives. I could write about someone I hate or someone I love. I could even write about guitars, jewels, cloudy days, and weather.

But when I was strumming something happened, and memories came back. I was little with long blonde hair running bare feet at the house on Peoga. I was taking walks in the rain. I was splashing in rain buckets, and playing baseball in the yard. 

Then I grew. I was nine, ten, eleven so forth to pivotal ages of fifteen and sixteen when you fall for everything, you act out of impulse, and everything you knew is forgotten. Then I was seventeen and I had lost the very best thing that I had at the time. I lost someone very real and very important to me. ANd still is.

But now I'm twenty-seven, and we have fast forward ten years. Now I know better. I'm stronger, smarter. I don't pretend. I don't fall for shit, I stand for something, and I remember who I am. And John, I will follow you. We'll roll the dice, pass some signs, stop for gas and at ten buck two. I don't care. We'll be fine just as long as we can stay just like this, right now, in this specific moment in time. Just as long as we don't ever change.

So, I didn't write about jewels or fairytales. Or about bars or cheating. I wrote about my life.