A Sigh of Relief

A Sigh of Relief

When I had this child seven years ago, at 5:10 a.m, I didn't realize at how much laughter was in my future. My entire life, I had never really had any girls in my life, non at least that made me feel like I was an important piece of their life anyway. I was usually the third (or fourth wheel) around other girls, I could never quite make myself care about the stuff they did, and it seemed to me that I was pretty much disposable. And a lot of times, they proved I was. But now, seven years after Jewel has been born, I know that she is the only girl I need in my life. This little one, though so much younger, is my very best friend. We understand each other. We laugh about the same things. We love the same things. And though, just as in any other relationship, we have been frustrated with each other at times, we always end up and hour later writing songs together or singing the Gilmore Girls song (with Jewel swearing "Mommy, we are just like them.") But no, Jewel, we are so much more:)
I have this tendency to associate people with different colors. John is red, like fire and courage. Stevie seems more blue, like the ever changing sky. But Jewel? I could never quite pinpoint. She's iridescent. She's translucent. Yet she's opaque. And, at times, even like a piece of mosaic art. She's a sliver of magic brought to me. As a mother, I selfishly want to keep that magic. I don't want it to slip through my fingers and turn to dust. I don't want the fire of it to burn out. But I am selfish. Because I know that magic should be shared. Jewel's smiles and jokes should be seen and told. Her voice should be heard. Her arms placed around your neck. Because it is an earthly, healing touch. A sigh of relief for the soul. And with Jewel, you are never disposable. You are important. You are gravity. And it feels so good to be someone else s gravity for a change.
Happy Birthday, baby Jewel. I will eternally love you. To the moon, stars, even the milky way, and back. That love, Darling, is infinite. Just like you.