Love, Me

I was angry when my heart broke.
I was angry that I had let it get that way.
I was angry with myself that it had ended so unfulfilled.
So unplanned.
So completely and hopelessly mixed up.
So tragic.
Such a beautiful life.
I've heard theories that life can be made so uncomplicated.
If you miss someone, call or say good-bye.
But sometimes there's only beeping machines and pumps.
The sound of them gives hope and then the silence kills it.
The sound remains with you, never letting you go.
A constant haunt, a constant echo.
It smothers you.
And then I met him and I felt guilty.
But it also felt fated, destined.
But my heart was still broke.
I was so angry that I was torn.
I was angry that I would never get over you.
I was angry that there was such a punishable void.
There was always a nightmare of your touch, your face.
Sometimes memories are what you really have to be afraid of.
But you wait every night with open arms for your nightmare.
You embrace it.
After you wait anxiously for the screams.
The heartbeat.
The tears.
But he understood.
And you know why?
He understood why I was broke because he was broken too.
So then, we had two broken people piecing each other together.
Collecting shards of anothers heart and healing it the only way that we knew how.
His nightmares were mine, and mine his.
We kept looking for you and talking to you with no response.
No sight.
We were blind in ways that we could actually see clearer.
And then...
It was just me and him with the shadow of you.
We're still together.
We'r still here and we're still okay.
We made it.
We rarely speak of the ghost that haunts us.
But more importantly we both know that one day we will have a story to tell.
Once upon a time...
In a far away land,
There lived a beautiful boy who changed others lives so greatly.
Lives that he never knew,
Never even thought that he could change.
Once upon a time...
There was a chain reaction.
A sequence of events.

Time

Time fades.
You hear that with time everything will get better.
I guess it depends on who you ask and in what aspect of your life you’re talking about.
Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.
And you’re a liar if you say that’s it’s always gotten better for you.
And if you’re not a liar.
You’ve never loved.

Complications?

I just wanted to say that I was sorry to anyone who may have tried visiting my blog on tumblr. I had just heard that there were some complications finding me and following. If I had left a link to the blog it doesn't work. It will say your access is denied. Type in jessiemcclain.tumblr.com and it will take you straight to my page! Click follow! Again, sorry for any mix ups!

You're here again

The silent night,
Is way too loud.
It rings in my ears,
It calls me proud.
I crawl in bed,
Wide eyed still.
I think of you,
And always will.
You're there whenever I close my eyes.
I see you in the stars,
And hear you in the moon rise.
I shake, I tremble, I sometimes fall,
My heart beats hard and I scream at the wall.
I cling to the bed,
Amplified sight.
I feel you hear,
You reside where I write.
You are in these letters,
And the tip of my pen.
You're here, you're here,
You're here again.

A new adventure:) Join me!

Hey! I wanted everyone to know that I also started a tumblr account last night! Find My Dearest Rose Trilogy on there as well if anyone has  tumblr! I always follow back:)

Find me!

I just wanted everyone to know that I have a facebook page as well. Just look for Jessie McClain. I have my personal page and then my official My Dearest Rose page:) Hit like!!!! And spread the word. NOW...GO! :) <3

Hindsight

In a previous entry I had wrote about changing, the unchanged, and being yourself. I still stay true to that. I was also thinking yesterday about seeing things from another persons perspective though, a hindsight kind of view.
So many judge those who "change." They say the other person isn't being who they really are. Well this may be true, but I was thinking instead of judging maybe we should try to understand instead, because maybe you have changed in some way too?
After all living in a world of constant change it has to be tough to not change with it sometimes. No matter how strong you are and how true to yourself you are there has to be something that gets to you and you find yourself thinking "I wish I could do that, or be like that."
We all wish we could stay the same and some people that we trusted the most change so drastically on us, making us feel left behind, on the outside (which is where I have been most of my life.) The feeling is terrible and the result is lonliness.
Maybe some people are drastic and extreme on all sides, and maybe there's no way you could really ever keep up. But you could judge who others are or how they're not the same or you could take a step back, keep yourself in check, and wonder if the same has happened to you along the way. In a fast paced world can we ever stay the same? I'd like to say we could. I guess the truth is though, is that only the strong will stand. So now I'll ask myself a question. Am I strong?

Future Plans

I just wanted to say thank you for staying with me during my journey. I know sometimes there are lapses between my posts. I am so busy putting together this trilogy just right for all of you and already have plans and a prologue written for another book after Iris and Jason's story comes to an end.
I don't want to get to ahead of myself because I won't be focusing so much on it until My Dearest Rose trilogy is over, but I will let you know that you will be taken to a whole other world out of this realm. This will be a place of magic, folklore, fairytales, and battle based around a seventeen year old girl and her journey into the complete unknown.
I do hope you will be looking forward to it as I am looking forward to writing it.
I am writing the third and final book to My Dearest Rose as the second one has just finished and I do hope that you will be looking for them both.
I promise with all my heart to keep you updated and let you know when they will be made available. Please spread the word. I'm always looking for more friends, fans, and followers:) Have a beautiful day all! All my <3