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Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The Best Day-with Daddy:) For your birthday!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Stay
Three words. Don't leave me. The only words that are said during someones hour of desperation. They are only said by someone who can't imagine you not being a part of their life. No one says this unless absolutely neccessary. Nobody says this unless their gaurd is let down for just an instant, and no one says this unless they are scared. I have uttered these words before as I looked into the persons eyes. I have felt so alone, so empty that all I could do was cling to the hope that this one person would stay. Because when you say "Don't leave me" you are saying, I am scared, please stay. Stay. You are saying talk to me, sing to me, or just simply lay with me. Help me block the world out for just a little while. Don't say anything, just let me feel you so that I can know that I am not alone. In this world together. I used to say that to someone.
And if the person loves you, truly loves you, they will stay. They won't leave you alone to drown by yourself. They won't allow your heart to break without trying to mend it, and whether or not they believe it themself they will tell you that it's all going to be okay. They will let you soak their chest in tears and rub your hair back out of our face in a way that can only be comforting. For just a moment you'll feel the peace of a child.
So being on the other side of the fence at a time in my life, please, when and if someone tells you "Don't leave me" just stay. Because they would never has said it if they didn't trust you enough, if you didn't mean that much to them, if your comfort is the only thing that couldn't settle their soul. They wouldn't drop that gaurd at all. So stay.
And if the person loves you, truly loves you, they will stay. They won't leave you alone to drown by yourself. They won't allow your heart to break without trying to mend it, and whether or not they believe it themself they will tell you that it's all going to be okay. They will let you soak their chest in tears and rub your hair back out of our face in a way that can only be comforting. For just a moment you'll feel the peace of a child.
So being on the other side of the fence at a time in my life, please, when and if someone tells you "Don't leave me" just stay. Because they would never has said it if they didn't trust you enough, if you didn't mean that much to them, if your comfort is the only thing that couldn't settle their soul. They wouldn't drop that gaurd at all. So stay.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Words
Words. Words that could mean everything. Words that can't be said, but only written down whether or not anyone will ever read it. Words that are not of the mind but of the heart, bleeding out into black ink on a blank white page. Euphoric melodies of the imagination, to the depths of our souls, blended into a harmony, a peace beyond any ones capability of understanding.
Honestly, with me...I've always been let's say... well, my sociability has always been a little on the awkward side. I laugh when I'm not suppose to. I giggle and smile when I get nervous, and when I'm really nervous I start singing and dancing apparently. I know right? So when it comes to talking I'm not very good. When It comes to singing or when it comes to writing? Words that I can piece together specifically the way that they are meant to come out, I am good at. So since we're a talking about words, ones communication with people, the human race, the outside world, let's talk about the timing of them.
I have lost people in my life. Loss has no limits, no exceptions, no mercy on who it hits. I have seen the loss of people from the mere age of sixteen to eighty two. It's a loss beyond a comprehension of any words, it's inconsolable, and I have felt my heart break into pieces. Time heals. Not entirely true. Time only numbs.
So back to words. It doesn't matter if we have to write them, sing them, spell them, speak them, or chisel them into concrete. They need to be said. The older I get then truer it gets.
And this isn't to scare because lives and choices should not be based and lived on fear. It should simply be...lived. With all of our experiences, all of our losses, and gains. All of the footprints embedded on our hearts, our memories. Take it in. Relish it. And remember the very moments in time that you were the happiest. Remember the times that mattered and look forward to every bit of your future.
Honestly, with me...I've always been let's say... well, my sociability has always been a little on the awkward side. I laugh when I'm not suppose to. I giggle and smile when I get nervous, and when I'm really nervous I start singing and dancing apparently. I know right? So when it comes to talking I'm not very good. When It comes to singing or when it comes to writing? Words that I can piece together specifically the way that they are meant to come out, I am good at. So since we're a talking about words, ones communication with people, the human race, the outside world, let's talk about the timing of them.
I have lost people in my life. Loss has no limits, no exceptions, no mercy on who it hits. I have seen the loss of people from the mere age of sixteen to eighty two. It's a loss beyond a comprehension of any words, it's inconsolable, and I have felt my heart break into pieces. Time heals. Not entirely true. Time only numbs.
So back to words. It doesn't matter if we have to write them, sing them, spell them, speak them, or chisel them into concrete. They need to be said. The older I get then truer it gets.
And this isn't to scare because lives and choices should not be based and lived on fear. It should simply be...lived. With all of our experiences, all of our losses, and gains. All of the footprints embedded on our hearts, our memories. Take it in. Relish it. And remember the very moments in time that you were the happiest. Remember the times that mattered and look forward to every bit of your future.
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