Just for rainy days

Rainy days have always been my favorite (just as they have been to Iris:-)) and today just so happens to be one of those days! I started my day waking up a little later then I wanted. It was still kind of dark outside because of the gray skies, but once I heard the trickling of the rain on the roof and pinging off of the windows I jumped up and got ready.
I promised my parents my help with painting. At times I was doing pretty good and getting it done, but then a movie came on t.v that looked really good, so I went from painting to just holding a paint brush in my hand and brushing it against something as my eyes were glued to the television. I hope I didn't paint something I shouldn't have. We'll find out... For a moment there I think I actually forgot what I was doing. Note: Speaking of t.v the Supernatural premiere was on the other night! I saved it to the dvr to watch while my kids are asleep and haven't been able to yet. I think I'm going to have to throw elbows to get to the remote.
Anyways...That's been pretty much my day. The past couple or few nights I've been writing a lot! From the time my kids shut their eyes to the moment I shut mine. So much is coming to me so fast I just have to try to get it all down before I forget what the awesome idea I had was! Haha! I'll be back at it again tonight though! I can't go long without Jason...I start dreaming about him.
So peace, love, and God you guys! All my love...

P.S remember...smile when you see the rain :-)  <----just like that...

Open page number 3

My sister one day came to me and handed me a piece of paper and said "Try this. I am. We can read them to one another and listen to the different perspectives that two can get on one subject." On the paper was just a simple list of words. With each word you had to write a poem based on that one word. I didn't have much going on at the time. I had completed My Dearest Rose and was just starting the second part. I thought I could give it a try in my free time. I never looked at the word in front of the one I was on. I liked it to be a surprise. One night a little after midnight, I came upon a certain word and thought 'well...I think I'm gonna like this one!' So I sat down in the dark, and  picked up my pen and paper.
Night has always been seen to some people as the time that holds the most evil, I see it as beautiful. I never did get to here my sister's perspective. Soon after the interest died out. With that being so...here is a poem that I titled Dusk.

Dusk

Hello, I can’t tell you my name for it changes all the time.

My words are of poison and I lure you in with lies.

I come out at dusk and lurk from far away.

I’m a creature of night, I hide in the light of day.

I can be centuries old or maybe just decades.

My skin stays cold, my eyes are dark, and I never age.

I feed off of the blood pumping through your veins.

I can never be caught, you would think I never even came.

Some see me as evil, some as deadly as sin.

But some see me as attractive and that’s how I rope them in.

Stories circulate of me all the time.

Not all of them are true.

But do you want to test the ones that are?

We can test them on you.

Because once I have you in my grasp there is no way of escape.

If someone was to find you, it would still be to late.

I’ll leave your body lifeless, pale as the moon in the middle of night.

You see, to me you’re just a feast, no matter if it’s wrong or right.

So in the end when dusk draws near I’ll be hiding in the dark.

Stay inside, lock your doors, and cover up tight.

I never miss my mark.

A Twilight Lullaby

One day about a month ago when I was a little bored I decided to play around on my guitar thinking that I may or may not find a song along the way. And you know what? I did! I stumbled upon a little something that sounded...refreshing...calming. I decided! It shall be a lullaby! So then, I just let my mind wander while I strummed. I thought of the birds that my kids love to watch flying and picking at the ground in search of grains of food. I thought of the wind and the feel of dusk, the twilight hour. The silhouettes of the trees, the limbs, and how the stars seem to shine so flawlessly on them. I thought of the coyote and how my son always talks about the coyotes at night and his smile when we sit and listen to them running free. I ended my thoughts with the peace behind the darkness and the moon. This is what was created! I have a couple of other lullaby's but the kids seemed to have enjoyed this one more. Unfortunately all I can share with you are the lyrics:)

A Twilight Lullaby

The sun slips a quiet good-bye.

The blackbird flies, silent as a sigh.

The sun slips a quiet good-bye.

And the blackbird flies.

And the blackbird flies.

The night breathes once again.

It sings in whispers with the wind.

The night breathes once again.

It sings in whispers with the wind.

And it calls to me.

And it calls to me.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hmmm…

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hmmm…

The treetops dance with the stars.

Coyote sings to you from afar.

Knees hit the ground.

Knees hit the ground.

 Dusk is bruised, blue, black and gold.

Dusk is bruised, blue, black, and gold.

So hold on... hold on... hold on.

And we sing.

And it calls to me.

And it calls to me.

So close your eyes.

Here’s a twilight lullaby.

As the blackbird flies.

And it says dream sweetly.

Breathe easy.

You and I.

You and I.

And with that have a beautiful night!

New story, added characters, same life of Iris Stone

My Dearest Rose. It's tragic and hopeful, eventful and fun, life defining and simple. The ups are up there and the downs leave you wondering if Iris will make it through, but even with all this my hope is that everyone can see the point of the story. If anyone were to ask me why this would be my response.

Life is as unpredictable as where the next road could take you or what the outcome of your next decision will be. Along with the unpredictability it can change as quickly as the beat of a heart. You will always have problems but it really depends on how strong you choose to be that will determine if you can make it through those problems. You can be at your weakest point in life and the next day find a spark of a flame as you sift through the embers of what is left. Keep that flame alive! The point is to fearlessly do what terrifies you. Face  it, look it in the eye, and jump into the water. If it's the wrong choice learn from it, but the wrong choice is always better then the 'what ifs' you would face if you didn't do it. What could my life be like? The point is to let yourself be loved and fall madly in love in return. Get on your knees and pray, stretch your fingers towards the sky and reach for the light. Only then will you see things for what they truely are. Fight to survive, find something to live for and never let go of it. Fall in love with your best friend. Fall in love with a stranger. Fall in love in the most unpredicatable way. Jump over your hurdles, face your obstacles and keep going. You will get knocked down and you will fall, but when you get back up you will realize that you lived through it. If things came to easily they would be hard to be seen as a blessing and you will be much more appreciative in the long run. Forgive those who have hurt you and if they keep hurting you it's alright to lose your faith in them. It's okay to say that they will never change. Tell someone whatever it is that you need to tell them because it would be so much better to put yourself out there and possibly look stupid then to miss out on the chance. The reality is you may never have that chance again. Unspoken words can break a heart. Live, and do it fearless.

Now as for the second part. It is a different story, of course. New situations. New obstacles. New days to the life of Iris and Jason. What is up Jason's sleeve next? What problem will Iris be facing next? How crazy is Ian now? Haha! Along with...*drum roll* new characters. We will be introducing Sam (a vietnam vet) Rachel (a girl most will hate) Kate (it's a surprise!) Johnny (Kates son) Shilah (Josephs nephew) Kiah (Josephs son) Comfort (Josephs daughter) and we will be seeing more of Tala, Dane, and Ralina ( the waitress)! My hopes is that it will be completed  by the end of fall and I am very excited to be getting it out to everyone! I won't tell you the name. That will be a surprise as well! I have to say that so far I have really enjoyed writing this one just as much as the first one and I'm having a little trouble right now keeping my fingers from giving a sneak peek. So for those who are fans if you liked the first one I hope you love the second. And yes! There will be a second! To those who are just stumbling on this page. You must get the first book to understand the second. With that all being said I hope everyone who reads this has a beautiful starry night. Dream sweetly.

Open page/ Haunted

So I was thinking of opening up certain pages of my many...many notebooks to viewers. I won't tell you how many! Haha! Why you ask? Well, I thought that it would allow others to get to know me better. In these open pages, straight from the pages, without any words altered will be random thoughts, letters I've never given to the people they were meant for (though there will be no names...sry), poems, and other things that no one besides me has ever seen before. I hope that you all enjoy! Feel free to leave feedback. I'll first open up my most recent page.

"Haunted
My heart is in my throat.
I feel it beating fast.
I tightly grab this moment.
And try to make it pass.
My eyes turn upward.
Something tells me never to look back.
I hear you breathing loudly.
Like a train roaring on it's track.
I never did feel fear.
I never have been lost.
Never until now.
It's what being with you cost.
Now I hear the train humming.
It calls me by my name.
It whistles in the night.
Slowly driving me insane.
Oh, here it comes again.
It shakes me to my core.
It never goes away.
And it's always wanting more.
Here I lie awake.
I grin at the wall.
I smile when I cry.
And I laugh as I fall.
Now the rain is falling.
A story with every drop.
It screams out your name.
And it never, ever stops.
The shadow that I cast looks nothing like it should.
I try to turn back the clock but know I never could.
I pace beside my bed.
I rewind the day we met.
Every bad thing that I said.
Every moment that came and went.
There are bruises on my knees.
They are scraped, forever scarred.
From the times that I prayed.
From the times I've fallen hard.
So my heart is in my throat.
I feel it beating fast.
The memory of you haunts.
This feeling will never pass."

Everybody has been there I'm sure, and those who haven't will with time. Time has a funny effect on people. Sometimes you want to slow it down, or speed it up, but always...always...it goes at it's own pace. That's one thing you can rely on.

The ones who can swing on a star

Irrevocable: That cannot be revoked, recalled, or undone; unalterable
Love: to be fond of; a strong affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons
Irrevocable and love. Two words that go very well together, because after all if you really  love someone, the love will always be unalterable right?
I have lost people in my life. Some had been in my life since I was born. I knew them by blood, relation, and by choice of course. Just because you are related to someone doesn't mean that you have to know them. Then there is one that I had only known far to shortly, but had loved deeply. Each one of these people had left an imprint on my heart, mind, and soul. I loved them all in different ways, but it was love the same. You should know that I don't believe in throwing the word love around loosely. It took me a while to learn what love was, when it was true, and when it was just a dishonest nothing whispered in your ear. When I had learned though I had finally understood what it was all about and how simple yet beautiful it really is. So...when I love I love irrevocably.
With that being said, I want to give a quick recognition  to the ones I've lost for changing, molding, and affecting my life in some way. I knew you all in different ways, but the fact that I was to know you was clearly written in the stars. Without either of us knowing you have helped pathe my way and light my path. When I want to smile I think of you. When I feel like shedding a tear I think of you. When I want to remember back...I think of you. Above all...thank you for giving me the chance to love you.

There are times that you take different directions in life and you have to pick the direction that is right for you. Sometimes you hear opinions coming from all sides with everyones different prespective and angle on the situation, but you just really have to clear the mecca and decide for yourself. Even if you dread it. Even if the decision is terrible, it's your terrible decision. If it's good then you've pathed your way. Sometimes you wish that someone could make the decison for you and pray for a sign from God what it should be. He may answer you, or he may decide you need to travel that road alone. There are different decisions in life, and when making the choices that you have to you can either dip your toes in and test the water or take a flying leap and hope the waters aren't shark infested. You may sit back and think 'what is this girl taling about, making a decision isn't so tough.' Correction. It's not tough if you are not the one that has to make it. In theory it may seem simple, and granted it may be to another person... but I have to say that as of right now I am not that other person and my choices aren't so simple. Not even in thory.
With this being said I will not tell you the choice that I have to make, but I assure you that you will find out in the near future. I actually have made it after a month of consideration, and feel that it's the right choice for this particular time in my life and I just have to believe that other doors will be opened for me and that a well lightened path lies ahead. Okay...and also that the murky waters aren't so shark infested. With fingers crossed maybe not even that deep. I'm not so good of a swimmer. One good thing is on my side though, I do good at keeping my head above water.

Mystery writers of america presents...

On a Raven's Wing!!!
Yes! A new book that I discovered! I got it for cheap and figured that I would try it out. What is so exciting about it you ask? Okay! It's new tales in honor of one of my favorite and imaginative authors Edgar Allan Poe! My cat is even named after him:-) Don't judge me.
It has stories in it from Mary Higgins Clark (for the record if you haven't read her book "Remember Me" you must) and many other authors. After I'm done I'll give you all an update about what I thought of it! Stay tuned!

Perfection pressure

I was thinking earlier of some people around me. Some people that I know or had known, people that are or were different in so many ways. Then I took these people and limited it down to two different catagories of people. People who have the mind conception that they are perfect and then there are those who admit their faults. Yes, God made you unique. There is only one of you and on this entire earth with all the people that have been here and all the ones that will be here in the future, there still will be only one of you. Unique does not mean perfect. You can take that as you'd like and you make yourself out to be whatever you want to be. You can choose to be forgotten, or remembered. You can choose to be selfish, or you can give the very shirt off of your back. You can choose to degrade and be mean to people, or you can choose to treat others with the respect that everyone deserves. You can gossip behind others' back, take pictures of them at their worst,point out their flaws, and laugh, or you can be beautiful and love them for who they are. After all it's not our place to judge. With all of this said I will say one more thing. There is no perfection, don't strive for it. You will never meet it. You will come out disappointed and stressed in the end. The best that you can do is do your best, speak your best, act your best, and love with all you have in you. And always, always give without expecting anything back. So I guess I fall into the latter of the two types of people. I will not say I'm perfect. I am not flawless. I am human.

Who am I?
I can't keep my hair one color (not sure if it's from boredom or an identity crisis, I go with boredom)
I can't paint my nails because I chew them, but when I do I prefer black nail polish
My hair seems to stay a tangled mess
I can't tell people how I truely feel sometimes because I'm scared
I'm stubborn to a fault
I don't like shoes
Sometimes I fear my dreams will only stay dreams
I wonder sometimes if the people that I love so much my heart breaks will ever really know how much I love them
I'm scared of a loss of imagination
One thing that I don't want to be is cynical
I want to be seen
I want to shine
I'm haunted
I want God to know that I love him
I could list more but I'm not sure anyone has the time for that.

 Perfection is a myth. What catagory do you fall into?

A couple of thank you's!

I would just like to take the time to say thank you to two very sweet people, Krystal Larson and Jessica DeWulf! If you are looking for great books, amazing reviews, and beautiful blogs visit them! They rock! Peace, Love, Books and Live To Read! From the bottom of my heart thanks you guys!

Free Spirit

I've been thinking a lot about freedom lately and how it would feel to go where you wish, when you wish, with just enough money in your pocket to get you by. How would it feel to run free and wild through the woods barefoot and dirty? How does it feel to swim with the ocean tide and leave your footprints in the sand? What would it be like to fly like a bird, going as high as you want, with no one telling you any direction or which way that you're supposed to go?
So many people have the beautiful chance to live as free as a bird, or wolf. They can come and go like the ocean tide. These few people are called lucky.
So many times have I felt like running, hair undone, or swimming so deep that surely there could be no way of return. So many times have I felt like I wanted to fly to the top of the highest tree, or to pack up whats important, leave the rest, and go wherever the road wishes to take me. And you know what? I will. Only I can make the decision to do so just like every single one of us have control over our own destiny. That is why God gave us choices.
So here's to all the free spirits. We're one in the same.

Free Spirit, walk that extra mile.
Free Spirit, open doors with just your smile.
Free Spirit, You'll never be happy in your comfort zone.
Free Spirit, I know you feel the world is your home.
The sun rise just means another journey.
The dark skies too and embers burning.
Free Spirit, tear your heart right out of your chest.
Free Spirit, pick up the pieces and leave all the rest.
Free Spirit, mark each beach with a footprint in the sand.
Free Spirit, carve your name upon the land.
You run like a wolf free in the night.
The spirit of a bird, wings burning bright.
Free Spirit, a gypsy in a world where faces are the same.
Free Spirit, even if you wanted to you could never change.
To find you I'll follow your flame of desire.
One day you'll set the world we know on fire.
Free Spirit, I bleed you out everyday.
Free Spirit, I can't verbalize all I'd like to say.
Free Spirit, leave your fingerprint on the stars.
Free Spirit, you've flown away and yet you're never far.

Love to you all!