Fragments/ An entry

Stolen pieces and fragments of the past. Skipped forward, embedded, to make sure that it lasts. I had lost myself in you and that was a mistake. It's a sad life that we've made for each other. Mirrors brand you and force you to see your flaws. Inertia and flesh rips exposed parts, fresh and raw. It all comes back in small glimpses are a world scattered and destitute. We are made out of muscle, bone, and sinew sewn together and lit. Strike a match and there's a blaze of red. A new face merges with the old, streaked and aged.

Pale and everlasting as an immortal born long ago and tragically unseen. Maybe we never really know how we got here. Maybe we'll never exactly recount for every course we traveled that has led us down this unpathed road. Because really...we never follow a particular path. Instead we all tear out our own, ripping the roses from the dirt and we bleeding from the thorns every...single...time. Everytime. We ignore the Honeysuckle's screams and follow the caw of that black crow instead. How smart? How stupid of us? Everytime like an untrained dog we do the same thing, but we're more dangerous to ourselves. We have the inept ablility to destroy our own senses and logical thinking. We have the ability to make permanent decisions.

We have the ongoing purpose of fulfilling our own design. We become selfish. We become concrete and we push away the hardest the people we love the most. Masachists? Informal and discreet we sit in the shadows, waiting for our chance to come alive and repeat the pretty lies told to us that we have come to believe ourself.

I remember how you made me feel and everything was so real to me. Feelings and words morph into one and brings unemotional detached binds that chain me to the wall. Shackles and grey concrete floors. Black sheep or white? Who cares? Forget the cleche' analogies for a second and focus on my own skin. I look for a bit of it and compare it to your own because I want to look nothing like you.

I woke up on my back in a strange land away from anything I was connected to. I was screaming, but you just stood and laughed. You told me to put on a pretty smile and wear my lace dresses with white pearls. Curl my hair and decorate it with flowers. Cover my face. Cover myself with only stories you have portrayed. Because don't we all fear reality?

So there are stolen pieces and fragmental sections placed together into mosaic hearts from the past. They have been forgotten but in some realm lasts evermore. I've ripped the last rose petal and got caught in barbed wire. My knees are scraped and my face a little dirty. I followed the bird hoping it would take me higher with it. How smart I was! Or how stupid...to think that I could survive the wolf's den.