Such a strange, beautiful, lonely, profound existance. Even though we may have someone we are still alone in our own mind. Thoughts come back burning and turning into colors we can relate memories too. Sight, sense, smell. I touch you with my fingertips just to prove to myself that you are real. You are here and not just in my dreams. I close my eyes and swear that I can see you just as before. We never really got over it. We never really let go of us.
The things in this life that should baffle us holds no more suprise. We become unfeeling, used to the same cycle, pattern, same routine. Three a.m phone calls, screaming and injuries more so on the heart, spirit, and self worth than the actual flesh. Your veins are on fire and you run from your fears. But you fear so much that they all blend together. You eventually go back to an aching restless sleep just so that you can waste more time...
Flowers fall from the trees pathing a way for us but you follow the path the black wolf leads you down instead, hot coals burning your feet. Eyes are on fire, you burn, but you won't burn alone. Never. You'll take the ones that have done this to you with you for one person can not suffer silently by ones self. And why should they be free? They started the fire and watched it spread freely while rinsing the blood from their own hands and wiping the slate clean.
It's all an illusion, a scheme dear. We are all actors playing a vital role while trying to carry a piece of humanity with us.
Most of all what I want out of this strange, beautiful, lonely, and profound life that I call mine is to love and be loved in return. And I want to keep what innocence that I have left. I want to hide it safe from the cruel world. They can't have it. Don;t let them take yours!
And now you darling...you are safe. I will cover you up, rest easy. I will fight for you even it means my own life. You will live. You will survive. You will grow old. And you...you my dear will have a story to tell. Tell it.
And remember my story. Start your own and remember dear one that I all do I do for you. All of my choices were made for you. You have given me something precious. You have taken my fears and your love alone as given me a fearless, undying strength as strong as my armor and sword and that darling...that is all that I need. Thank you! But most of all remember that I have loved you...
Jess
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