Here's to the random days where it feels like you're doing the same old routine that you do every other day. Here's to your kids screaming and fighting with each other and then running to you to tattle on. Here's to your car breaking down when you have no money in the bank, and then here's to a loved one giving you a loan to get the to expensive part that you need, and then you're daddy helping your husband put it on. Here's to a simple dollar in your pocket. Here's to your broken shower being fixed. Here's to school coming up the next day for a still very scared five year old boy. Here's to no matter how much he fears it, the fact is, nothing could ever seperate me from his side. Nothing could ever make me walk away.
Here's to a little girl with a cough and the sniffles, and going a long sleepless night trying to settle her and bring down her fever. Here's to a husband that is irrational, and complicated, but also very selfless and you love him back for ever bit of who he is. Here's to a family that no matter how many times you have disaggreements, we are always there for each other, and will always have the others back. Here's to giving whatever it is you can to simply help. Here's to not having much, but not needing much either and realizing a long time ago that that isn't what matters in life anyways. Here's to what we really need. The air, a heartbeat, a hug, and a kiss. What we really need is a shooting star, a wish in the sky, to say goodbye, to hear I love you. We need the one that holds our hand, that calls us mommy, to care, and have someone care. We need a soft kiss on the cheek from a child. We need to cuddle with a kitten. We need to give without expecting anything back. Never loan. Give.
We need the moonlight on our face, and the warmth of the sun running through our fingertips, feeling like you're spirit is being zapped with energy, leaving you tingling. We need a rain that cleanses and leaves you purified, and we need a bird to build a nest in your favorite bird house. We need to grow something from a seed and feel a sense of accomplishment when you see the full blooms and flowers. We need to grow a tree and plant it so that it will live here on this earth long after you will be here. We need God. We need life. We need the small things. And most of all we need to know that everything is going to be okay.
So here's to you. Here's to me. Here's to life.
Add Me On Goodreads!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Saturday, August 11, 2012
My Dearest Rose (excerpt)
My Dearest Rose,
Here it all is. A life a fantasy and tragedy. A life of love and happiness and bitterness and death. A life that's mine. My life as I will ever know it. All of my memories etched on paper. All of them timeless, treasured, unchanged, and untouched. Some are tragic and painful, but some are well loved and joyous. With every life there are up's and there are down's. It's the price you have to pay to be alive, but live you do. One day you will experience heartbreak, but keep in mind that when it happens that the pain will not last long and you will soon find love to replace it. The love? Well, the love lasts longer then this world will allow. I know that you won't be able to read this until you're older, but maybe by then you will understand.
Here precious one, I give you a memento, a keepsake to take along with you through your travels and journeys in life. Don't ever let anybody tell you that you can't, because whatever it is you want to do, you can. You're better, you're strong, you're beautiful, and you're more then good enough. Most of all you are forever loved.
If you need someone to hold you, I'm here. If you need someone strong, you got your dad. That man is stronger than he realizes, in more ways than one. If you need an older brother to do the things that older brothers do, well, you got one of those. Listen to this last part though Rose, if you fall and all you seemt o do is keep on falling, you have God. As for me, I have just realized that, but I want that knowledge instilled in you.
If you think that this book is ending, you are wrong. This book has many more chapters to fill the empty pages as we continue making sweet and sorrowful memories, as we keep on choosing the right decisions and tripping over our mistakes. So, no Rose, this is not the ending, just the beginning.
My love eternally,
Your mother
Here it all is. A life a fantasy and tragedy. A life of love and happiness and bitterness and death. A life that's mine. My life as I will ever know it. All of my memories etched on paper. All of them timeless, treasured, unchanged, and untouched. Some are tragic and painful, but some are well loved and joyous. With every life there are up's and there are down's. It's the price you have to pay to be alive, but live you do. One day you will experience heartbreak, but keep in mind that when it happens that the pain will not last long and you will soon find love to replace it. The love? Well, the love lasts longer then this world will allow. I know that you won't be able to read this until you're older, but maybe by then you will understand.
Here precious one, I give you a memento, a keepsake to take along with you through your travels and journeys in life. Don't ever let anybody tell you that you can't, because whatever it is you want to do, you can. You're better, you're strong, you're beautiful, and you're more then good enough. Most of all you are forever loved.
If you need someone to hold you, I'm here. If you need someone strong, you got your dad. That man is stronger than he realizes, in more ways than one. If you need an older brother to do the things that older brothers do, well, you got one of those. Listen to this last part though Rose, if you fall and all you seemt o do is keep on falling, you have God. As for me, I have just realized that, but I want that knowledge instilled in you.
If you think that this book is ending, you are wrong. This book has many more chapters to fill the empty pages as we continue making sweet and sorrowful memories, as we keep on choosing the right decisions and tripping over our mistakes. So, no Rose, this is not the ending, just the beginning.
My love eternally,
Your mother
Friday, August 10, 2012
Pt.1 Once Upon A Time
Imagine a place not perfect, but everyone loved you anyways. Imagine a place where everyone still believed in you. A world of sunny days running through meadows of flowers trying to be careful of snakes, but not really caring because you always seem to see them right before you step down.
An incomplete picture of rainy evenings, dancing under the big droplets, and watching your big bucket fill up inch by inch with clear, perfect water falling off of the side of your old, familiar, safe house. Never needing to bathe that night because nature took care of that chore for you.
Running bare feet, mud squeezing through your toes and the feeling of grass, soft, underneath you like a pillow.
Imagine YOUR childhood memories at it's best.
Then...imagine your world fades.
I once new a girl with a childhood like that.
Now...imagine that girl.
And listen to her story.
Once upon a time,
In a land not far from here,
There lived a girl of sixteen,
Her beauty quite rare.
In this land of beating hearts,
There were also many woes,
None that you'd care to listen,
Only one she'd come to know.
For this girl the clock struck twelve,
And there, she was carried away,
Later found under a tree,
Torn and broken, there she lay.
Her defenses were mild,
She believed too much,
She was easy to devour,
The wolf hardened her touch.
Dressed in white,
With a touch of red,
We never knew what happened,
She never said.
Until she fell in love,
With a beautiful prince,
He held out his hand,
She gave him a chance.
Two years of laughter,
Two years of good cries,
Two years passes,
And then two years dies.
After two years was paid,
A dragon breathed fire,
He grabbed for the girl,
Her chances a thin wire.
We all heard the heart of the prince,
It pounded like a drum,
He grabbed for his sword,
We all saw him run.
Later she came back,
He never did,
Again, we don't know what happened,
She never said.
In fact, she never spoke again,
She just sat day and night,
The light she once held,
Never again bright.
There she sat,
A latern in one hand,
Under the willow,
Waiting for him.
Her dress, now, merely black,
Her eyes always a mist,
Long hair blowing,
A look hard to resist.
Beautiful back then,
Beautiful now,
Beautiful beneath the rain,
But beautiful how?
Some say she died with him that day,
She would never leave him,
She would forever stay.
Some say it's just her ghost that we all see,
That their soul's had somehow seperated,
that they're searching for each.
She never seems to sleep,
And she never, ever leaves,
Sitting and searching,
Beneath the willow tree.
I had my doubts,
A skeptic at sight,
Until I saw it myself,
On that memorable night.
There she was, sitting,
Blue eyes against the moon,
The latern in her hand,
And then I saw another soon.
It came from the woods nearby,
It seemed deep within,
Then it finally surfaced,
And brought the prince with it.
They stared hard at each other,
And then there was a smile,
The girl finally raised up,
It had been quite a while.
He held out his hand,
Never unsure,
The girl at last accepted,
Just as she did before.
She followed him into the woods,
I stayed a while there after,
They never returned,
And then I heard laughter.
That was the last we saw of her,
I don't know why that night.
Why did it take so long,
for them each to catch sight?
Some say she died,
Some say she moved away,
Some say this town is now cleansed,
Though her footprints 'neath the willow stay.
I say they're finally happy,
Two souls finally at peace,
Them two, still together,
Two broken hearts at ease.
I tell you this story now,
To always remember the girl that's been.
I tell you a story of love,
That is never to be forgotten.
The End
An incomplete picture of rainy evenings, dancing under the big droplets, and watching your big bucket fill up inch by inch with clear, perfect water falling off of the side of your old, familiar, safe house. Never needing to bathe that night because nature took care of that chore for you.
Running bare feet, mud squeezing through your toes and the feeling of grass, soft, underneath you like a pillow.
Imagine YOUR childhood memories at it's best.
Then...imagine your world fades.
I once new a girl with a childhood like that.
Now...imagine that girl.
And listen to her story.
Once upon a time,
In a land not far from here,
There lived a girl of sixteen,
Her beauty quite rare.
In this land of beating hearts,
There were also many woes,
None that you'd care to listen,
Only one she'd come to know.
For this girl the clock struck twelve,
And there, she was carried away,
Later found under a tree,
Torn and broken, there she lay.
Her defenses were mild,
She believed too much,
She was easy to devour,
The wolf hardened her touch.
Dressed in white,
With a touch of red,
We never knew what happened,
She never said.
Until she fell in love,
With a beautiful prince,
He held out his hand,
She gave him a chance.
Two years of laughter,
Two years of good cries,
Two years passes,
And then two years dies.
After two years was paid,
A dragon breathed fire,
He grabbed for the girl,
Her chances a thin wire.
We all heard the heart of the prince,
It pounded like a drum,
He grabbed for his sword,
We all saw him run.
Later she came back,
He never did,
Again, we don't know what happened,
She never said.
In fact, she never spoke again,
She just sat day and night,
The light she once held,
Never again bright.
There she sat,
A latern in one hand,
Under the willow,
Waiting for him.
Her dress, now, merely black,
Her eyes always a mist,
Long hair blowing,
A look hard to resist.
Beautiful back then,
Beautiful now,
Beautiful beneath the rain,
But beautiful how?
Some say she died with him that day,
She would never leave him,
She would forever stay.
Some say it's just her ghost that we all see,
That their soul's had somehow seperated,
that they're searching for each.
She never seems to sleep,
And she never, ever leaves,
Sitting and searching,
Beneath the willow tree.
I had my doubts,
A skeptic at sight,
Until I saw it myself,
On that memorable night.
There she was, sitting,
Blue eyes against the moon,
The latern in her hand,
And then I saw another soon.
It came from the woods nearby,
It seemed deep within,
Then it finally surfaced,
And brought the prince with it.
They stared hard at each other,
And then there was a smile,
The girl finally raised up,
It had been quite a while.
He held out his hand,
Never unsure,
The girl at last accepted,
Just as she did before.
She followed him into the woods,
I stayed a while there after,
They never returned,
And then I heard laughter.
That was the last we saw of her,
I don't know why that night.
Why did it take so long,
for them each to catch sight?
Some say she died,
Some say she moved away,
Some say this town is now cleansed,
Though her footprints 'neath the willow stay.
I say they're finally happy,
Two souls finally at peace,
Them two, still together,
Two broken hearts at ease.
I tell you this story now,
To always remember the girl that's been.
I tell you a story of love,
That is never to be forgotten.
The End
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Words that matter
I need you as much as I need the air I breathe. I love you more then I love myself. If you die I die with you. I'll never leave you behind. I want to dance with you beneath the street light in the pouring rain. I would drench my perfect dress in a storm just to kiss you in the street. I see you when you think that no one else does. I believe in everything you do. I believe in everything that we can be together. We are two lost souls who have found and saved one another. We are a different stitch of fabric in piece of silk. You are me and I am you. It was written in the stars. We belong next to each other.
The above is something that every being on this ever loving earth as ached to hear from someone special at sometime in their life. Those are the very words that can change a life drastically in just the nick of time. Those are the words that will be remembered forever. Those are the words that count. Make it count. Say what you mean and feel what you say. Love can change everything. Love can change you. It changes me. It makes me a better person by each passing day. It makes me who I want to be. It inspires me and drives me to be better and ever changing. Ever loving. After all... that is the way that EVERYONE deserves to be loved. Tell someone you love them and watch them genuinely smile.
The above is something that every being on this ever loving earth as ached to hear from someone special at sometime in their life. Those are the very words that can change a life drastically in just the nick of time. Those are the words that will be remembered forever. Those are the words that count. Make it count. Say what you mean and feel what you say. Love can change everything. Love can change you. It changes me. It makes me a better person by each passing day. It makes me who I want to be. It inspires me and drives me to be better and ever changing. Ever loving. After all... that is the way that EVERYONE deserves to be loved. Tell someone you love them and watch them genuinely smile.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
I guess we'll see!
Well, I linked my blog to my google account so you all can get to it easier and see my updates and posts. If I don't like it I guess we'll see about switching it back? So who can tell I don't take to well to common change? Oops!
Fearless
Okay folks! Todays topic? Being Fearless, or becoming fearless. Whichever you choose:)
First off I want to start off clarifying something though. Yes, in My Dearest Rose Jason and Iris fell in love quickly. For those who think that it's impossible has never been in love. You don't have to work on it. I know this because it had happened to me...twice.
The only two times I have ever been in love, I knew instantly that I couldn't be without this guy. The first boy that had introduced me to this strange, untamed feeling no longer exists anywhere but my memory and heart. The second I had met, we were together in two weeks, and married in four months. Yeah, yeah...I've already had those looks. The "Wow! That's fast! They'll never make it!" looks, but over seven years and two children later we're still here and he in my eyes is still the same guy that saved the life, and what was left of the heart of a reckless 17 year old girl back in February of 05. One of the toughest times in my life. So, that my friends, is exactly why I had to put in Iris and Jason's immediate love for one another. Impossible connection. Because it is possible. Because it happens. Especially when two souls are meant to save one another.
Now Fearless. There is a quote that I have always remembered ever since I had first read it, and believe it or not, has at many times kept my spark of hope and dreams going. Taylor Swift (whom I love!) had said quite around "Fearless isn't being in the absence of fear. It is being able to do things in the midst of it. It's being able to do the things that scare you the most. That is fearless." Thus giving her the title of her second album.
I completely believe that with all of my heart. Simply because if being fearless meant you were not scared of anything then you are not human. Every one has a fear. Most unspoken. But it's still there. So...with this being said...this little quote has kept me writing and putting myself out there. It helped get me up on stage that first time with my guitar. It has helped me meet new people and make new friends. It has inspired me. And now it makes me want to fly. (In a plane I mean.) Yes, I am terrified. I have never been on a plane, but I have a strong feeling that one day I will board one and make it through, whether it be with this quote or sedatives:)
But more importantly who is it in your life that makes you feel fearless? Who is it that keeps you going and your belief that one day all of this will mean something? If you have that someone, I'm happy. More then happy, proud! It's a fantastic thing to have that person in your life. One that encourages you instead of drowns you. If you don't, keep searching. You will find him/her. And when you do you will know, because just like with Jason and Iris it is instant. Just like with me, it is a fire that cannot be controlled. It comes on quick, leaves your head spinning and sometimes heart aching. Find that person and make them yours. Be, in every aspect of the word, fearless.
First off I want to start off clarifying something though. Yes, in My Dearest Rose Jason and Iris fell in love quickly. For those who think that it's impossible has never been in love. You don't have to work on it. I know this because it had happened to me...twice.
The only two times I have ever been in love, I knew instantly that I couldn't be without this guy. The first boy that had introduced me to this strange, untamed feeling no longer exists anywhere but my memory and heart. The second I had met, we were together in two weeks, and married in four months. Yeah, yeah...I've already had those looks. The "Wow! That's fast! They'll never make it!" looks, but over seven years and two children later we're still here and he in my eyes is still the same guy that saved the life, and what was left of the heart of a reckless 17 year old girl back in February of 05. One of the toughest times in my life. So, that my friends, is exactly why I had to put in Iris and Jason's immediate love for one another. Impossible connection. Because it is possible. Because it happens. Especially when two souls are meant to save one another.
Now Fearless. There is a quote that I have always remembered ever since I had first read it, and believe it or not, has at many times kept my spark of hope and dreams going. Taylor Swift (whom I love!) had said quite around "Fearless isn't being in the absence of fear. It is being able to do things in the midst of it. It's being able to do the things that scare you the most. That is fearless." Thus giving her the title of her second album.
I completely believe that with all of my heart. Simply because if being fearless meant you were not scared of anything then you are not human. Every one has a fear. Most unspoken. But it's still there. So...with this being said...this little quote has kept me writing and putting myself out there. It helped get me up on stage that first time with my guitar. It has helped me meet new people and make new friends. It has inspired me. And now it makes me want to fly. (In a plane I mean.) Yes, I am terrified. I have never been on a plane, but I have a strong feeling that one day I will board one and make it through, whether it be with this quote or sedatives:)
But more importantly who is it in your life that makes you feel fearless? Who is it that keeps you going and your belief that one day all of this will mean something? If you have that someone, I'm happy. More then happy, proud! It's a fantastic thing to have that person in your life. One that encourages you instead of drowns you. If you don't, keep searching. You will find him/her. And when you do you will know, because just like with Jason and Iris it is instant. Just like with me, it is a fire that cannot be controlled. It comes on quick, leaves your head spinning and sometimes heart aching. Find that person and make them yours. Be, in every aspect of the word, fearless.
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