Glitter

Sitting in rounded porcelain, chest high with water, and Fleetwood Mac playing loudly from my playlist, I stretch my arms, and then my legs, looking at my toes down under the surface. The smell of coconut circulates through the air and the heat blows my home-made curtains on the window. I hold my breath and allow my body to slide down, down, down. My head breaks the surface, a humming fills my ears and I am gone. Energy buzzes, my lungs burn, but I lift my feet and press them down against the top of the tub, anchoring myself to the bottom under the water, under the noise, under the madness.

I watch as bubbles float to the surface and my lungs are screaming frantically. I can still hear the, now a slight hum, of Dreams and I can clearly feel my pulse racing, the blood flowing and pumping through every vein, circulating and feeding my very life. I can hear my heart beating. Beat...beat...beat...beating...

And why? To be a mermaid for a moment. To feel the air held tightly in my lungs, filled to capacity. To test myself, my strength. I do it to feel the world from this other side, to feel myself go crazy and to clear my mind all at the same time. I do it to hear the life in me. To know it's flowing through me still. And I know I'll be okay. I do it to think and to forget. I do it to remember and then release. I do it to renew and come clean again in more ways than one.

And when the burn in my chest is too much to bear. When I can't taste the air on my tongue anymore. When I crave more food for life, I break the surface again. And when I do I gulp in air like it's the only thing in this world that I need. I breathe it in, in such a beautiful, life forming, instinctual way. I inhale and choke. I inhale and need. I inhale and remember. I inhale...
I know I'm alive.

Then I do it again.

And I hear...



"For me, it's the only life that I've ever known
And love is only one, fine star away
Even though the living is sometimes laced with lies
It's alright, feeling remains even after the glitter fades....."

A Sigh of Relief

A Sigh of Relief

When I had this child seven years ago, at 5:10 a.m, I didn't realize at how much laughter was in my future. My entire life, I had never really had any girls in my life, non at least that made me feel like I was an important piece of their life anyway. I was usually the third (or fourth wheel) around other girls, I could never quite make myself care about the stuff they did, and it seemed to me that I was pretty much disposable. And a lot of times, they proved I was. But now, seven years after Jewel has been born, I know that she is the only girl I need in my life. This little one, though so much younger, is my very best friend. We understand each other. We laugh about the same things. We love the same things. And though, just as in any other relationship, we have been frustrated with each other at times, we always end up and hour later writing songs together or singing the Gilmore Girls song (with Jewel swearing "Mommy, we are just like them.") But no, Jewel, we are so much more:)
I have this tendency to associate people with different colors. John is red, like fire and courage. Stevie seems more blue, like the ever changing sky. But Jewel? I could never quite pinpoint. She's iridescent. She's translucent. Yet she's opaque. And, at times, even like a piece of mosaic art. She's a sliver of magic brought to me. As a mother, I selfishly want to keep that magic. I don't want it to slip through my fingers and turn to dust. I don't want the fire of it to burn out. But I am selfish. Because I know that magic should be shared. Jewel's smiles and jokes should be seen and told. Her voice should be heard. Her arms placed around your neck. Because it is an earthly, healing touch. A sigh of relief for the soul. And with Jewel, you are never disposable. You are important. You are gravity. And it feels so good to be someone else s gravity for a change.
Happy Birthday, baby Jewel. I will eternally love you. To the moon, stars, even the milky way, and back. That love, Darling, is infinite. Just like you.

Faithful and Devoted

Timeless and real.
Peace and hopefulness.
Love and security.
Absolution.
Salvation.
Immortality.
Health and vision.
Clarity.
Life.

Everything we want in this world. Everything we all strive to get, hold, and touch. Everything that seems out of our grasp. We run to it, but it seems our tunnel keeps stretching and we have no end in sight. We are lost in darkness. We are chained to the cracked and dirty walls.

But salvation comes.
We see light.
We hear silence and the chatter dissolves around us. It reverberates in our ears and it draws the moisture from our eyes.


Everything we can have through Him.
He is faithful to us and is passionately devoted.
We are his people.
He is the King.
Our Father.
Our God.

He has power over the skies, the waters, the wind, and earth.
He speaks and we tremble.
And how amazing it is, that he is on our side.

Review for Prophecy Revealed (The Soul of Arial #1)

If escaping into this particular book you will enter a world of afterlife like you have never seen it. From fantastic beginning to mind gripping end you will be turning the pages wondering what is going to happen on the next page and then the next chapter and then at the end. Arial's sarcasm is amusing, the Great One's antics are repulsive yet frighteningly funny, and you start wishing that you had a pair of magical wings and beautiful cuffs!

The interactions between the characters flowed naturally and it's just as if you were in the room with them listening to their conversations. The strength and courage that Arial portrays (especially when faced with her need to protect others) is outstanding and is something that we as humans should do daily for each other.

So as the prophecy is revealed I am much looking forward to finding out how exactly this prophecy is handled!

This piece of artwork is highly recommended, and I assure you is a piece that will be remembered and entirely enjoyed. Just be sure you have nothing to do that day. You'll get angry is you have to put it down:)

The link for more information is below!

http://cressenbooks.com/ProphecyRevealedPage.html

Tear Me Down to Build Me Up/ Thoughts And Writing

I was thinking aloud and writing. I hope you enjoy!

But I Am Never Far...

I am timeless.
An old soul that craves conversation and emotion that doesn't involve technology and icons.
I am the lover of flowers and tea out of tea pots on concrete patios with aged round tables.
I am the admirer of gardens and balconies. 
Of stars and sunsets.
I am the reader of solid books. 
The paper aged or fresh, smelling of dreams and faraway places.
I am the girl who runs barefoot in the meadows and splashes in the puddles, wild and careless.
I am the one with her hair filled with tangles and knots but I have better things to do like lay in the sunshine and talk to the birds perched in the trees.
I am the girl with bare fingernails and a fresh face because I'd rather spend my money on something that can fill my soul.
You can find me in thrift stores and at garage sales more than you would a mall. 
When you search for me look in cafe's, coffee shops, tea shops, or anywhere that you can find live music; talking to strangers like I've known them my whole life. I'd be there over a club or popular hangout.
Because I am the girl who would rather listen to someone with their guitar on a small stage working for tips than a spoiled talentless brat who has machines sound good for them on an album.
I am the one who truly is sorry when you feel I am not listening. It's just that my imagination has pulled me into another world once again. 
I do care, I promise.
Please don't shake me awake. Please don't stomp on my visions for the calamity of others. 
Because I am the lover of all things beautiful.
I am the believer of all things good. 
And, no, this does not make me oblivious to the tragedies and messiness of the world we live in. I will be willing to fight for my beliefs when it comes to it. But right now, the time does not call my name. So let me drift. Let me fly. Let me see the potential and colors in others.
Let me see what makes us all so different but yet the same.
Come to me with your problems and I will try to help with my view.
I will be all heart.
In return I ask that you do not suppress and that you do not suffocate.
If I run, let me. I will not go far. And I will always come back.
If I ask you to run with me, please do. I don't ask everyone and I promise I can open up doors.
Because I am the old soul who runs barefoot and lies down in warm summer rains. 
I am the admirer of tea, gardens, and balconies.
I am the one who talks to strangers and is not afraid to dive instead of tip-toe.
I am the lover of flowers and all things timeless.
I am the lover of conversations, family, and friends.
And when I love, I love limitless and deep. I love in acceptance so you can be freed. I love...
I am the hopeful.
I am the faithful.
But please, Dear, be patient with me if I seem far away. I am not. I am only imagining worlds where we both belong as thorough and infinite as the stars I study. 
Know that I will never be far from your side.
  

Sunlight and Tea

It all starts with sunlight and tea.
Colors swirl and blend into something precious and tender.
It begins amazing, like a first kiss or a flicker to a flame and it's as graceful as a ballerina sweeping across a wooden floor in a dance of innocence and magic.
Our life is the dance of all ages.
It's the beat to our drum.
And the magic to the pen that writes our book, chapter by fantastic chapter.
We spin and twirl throughout the day.
We call it monotony.
We call it routine.
We call it anything but what it should be called.
Life.
And we ignore the abundance that overflows.
"My cup overfloweth."
My cup...
Our energies intertwine with other energies and spark off new lights that only our souls can see and our hearts can feel. 
Our eyes are diluted, our senses dulled by words and hate and mockery.
We recall other more beautiful words that make us feel better.
The ones that make us feel alive and freed from any bonds or chains that we have set upon ourselves.
You are beautiful.
You are a mess.
You are so unique. A one of a kind.
You are a tragedy.
You are a kaleidoscope of every human emotion. Every extraordinary experience. 
We search for these letters of meaning because when we look in the mirror we see anything but meaning.
We see recklessness.
We see a smudge of grays blended into a fog.
But it all starts with sunlight and tea.
And some of the most important things that we'll never be able to see in ourselves.
It begins amazing, like a first kiss or a flicker to a flame.
And it ends with moon glow and streetlights.
Our life is the dance of all ages.
It's the beat to our own drum.
It's wild and childlike.
And each chapter we write is permanent. Neither time nor want can erase it from the pages. It cannot be burned or destroyed. That's the magic in the ink. 
That's the timelessness in our souls.
Just as some rob others of theirs we can give to others this thing that we call monotony or routine.
Life. 
That's what it's called.
And it's so beautiful.
Just so in the tragedy of it all as it is in the wonderous dance of it all.
And "My cup overfloweth" Dear Lord. 
My cup...
I am beautiful.
I am a mess.
I am as different as the thorn from the rose.
And I am even a tragedy.
Because I am a kaleidoscope of every human emotion. 
Raw and real and filled to the brim with stardust and pure magic.
And it all starts with sunlight and tea.