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Awakening Iris (The Dreamcatchers Saga #1)

Friday, February 5, 2016

Glitter

Sitting in rounded porcelain, chest high with water, and Fleetwood Mac playing loudly from my playlist, I stretch my arms, and then my legs, looking at my toes down under the surface. The smell of coconut circulates through the air and the heat blows my home-made curtains on the window. I hold my breath and allow my body to slide down, down, down. My head breaks the surface, a humming fills my ears and I am gone. Energy buzzes, my lungs burn, but I lift my feet and press them down against the top of the tub, anchoring myself to the bottom under the water, under the noise, under the madness.

I watch as bubbles float to the surface and my lungs are screaming frantically. I can still hear the, now a slight hum, of Dreams and I can clearly feel my pulse racing, the blood flowing and pumping through every vein, circulating and feeding my very life. I can hear my heart beating. Beat...beat...beat...beating...

And why? To be a mermaid for a moment. To feel the air held tightly in my lungs, filled to capacity. To test myself, my strength. I do it to feel the world from this other side, to feel myself go crazy and to clear my mind all at the same time. I do it to hear the life in me. To know it's flowing through me still. And I know I'll be okay. I do it to think and to forget. I do it to remember and then release. I do it to renew and come clean again in more ways than one.

And when the burn in my chest is too much to bear. When I can't taste the air on my tongue anymore. When I crave more food for life, I break the surface again. And when I do I gulp in air like it's the only thing in this world that I need. I breathe it in, in such a beautiful, life forming, instinctual way. I inhale and choke. I inhale and need. I inhale and remember. I inhale...
I know I'm alive.

Then I do it again.

And I hear...



"For me, it's the only life that I've ever known
And love is only one, fine star away
Even though the living is sometimes laced with lies
It's alright, feeling remains even after the glitter fades....."

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