Here's to you

Hello. It been a while (feels like ages) since I have wrote you. This time I won't be expecting a letter back. What was it? Back when we were teenagers I believe is when the last letter was passed. I remember. I was 17. I passed it to you as I passed by your pew at church. I was happy to see you there and jealous that you weren't leaving with me. But that's okay. I had made my mistakes and had to reap whatever it was that I sewed. I felt that as I do now that what we had was far more valuable then just the usual. Far more real, far more touchable.
In this world together. And we were. But really who was I to tempt fate and think it would be forever? I should have been smarter. I should have learned to stand on my own two feet better then, to rely on only me. Because little did I know that's what would happen after it was all said and done. After the final song and dance was over and there was nothing left but too vivid memories. The ones you can taste you know?
Ever since then it's been tough to be alone and if I want to be honest with myself and with you, I fear it a little, though I would never admit that to anyone else. It may weaken the gaurd. The gaurd that only two people have been able to penetrate, and you know who they are.
I got his idea of a letter from my grandma. I thought it was a terrible idea...and maybe it is. But terrible or not here I am. I guess I figured if I wrote it on a sheet of paper, sealed it in a envelope, and stuffed it in a box it would mean more, and just be between you and me. But really? It's only shared with me. Just me.
So here's to another passed letter, to something a little more then disgrace, to in this world together, to temptiong fate, last phone calls, last hugs, and last kisses, hopes for eachother, and sealed secrets. Here's to you and me. Here's to everything in this world being etched into the stars.
Love, Jess