The Many Ways To Say It

Lessons of life. My lessons I've learned. Where to go? How to do it? We never come with directions do we? Like we would need any anyway. It's not like we would follow them. It would be like taking someone's advice that we never intend to actually do anything with. We nod politely about how others think we should live and do what we want anyway.

And we have the right to do that. HA! Lessons. Mistakes. Failure. Watch me fall. Watch me writhe. Watch me succeed and go way further than you EVER thought I would. Watch me.

So what lessons am I thinking about today? Nothing really. What I've been thinking about today...and well, lately...as in the past few days is more around the lines of honesty. Honesty! Such a stress reliever right?

I wouldn't know. I've always been honest to a fault. When I'm asked. But most of the time I'm not. Especially about the important things. So I don't say anything at all. What if I wanted to say Good-bye? Or you screwed me over? Or you really messed up? Or I hate what you've become? Or I hate how you can't be honest with yourself? How can it be so easy to lie? To yourself for goodness sake? But what about this? What if...I didn't care? What if I could leave it behind?

There are some people that you have to put in the past. It's where they belong. Digging them up would be like digging up a grave. Like reliving not only the best but worst days of your life. It would be like trying to reverse what can never be.

There are some people that you have to lovingly and adoringly set aside and forget on most days and remember for just a second on very few. No matter how hard it may be. There are some people that you have to tuck away in your heart of hearts. You have to put them in that small room you have reserved back for only them, and you have to lock that door.

And then? Then...there are some of those people (we all know at least one) that you have to put in your past with a sweet finger gesture or two and a therapeutic piss off.

Whether it's the beautiful souls that have lightened your path in life, the ones that you will never forget, or the people that taught you a lesson, or even the ones that were a complete mistake. Put them away.

Put them in your heart. Make them a memory. Throw them in the trash if they're toxic. But don't drink them and turn them into poison. Because, darling, if there is one thing that I know, I know that even the sweetest times can be made bitter. Even the most treasured moments can kill you.

There are MANY ways to say it...
Good-bye.
Good riddance.
I'll see you in the next life.
We'll meet again among the stars.
Always in my dreams.
I'll miss you terribly.
Or...
Fuck off.
And..
Never again.

They are all hard. But they are necessary. Walk away. Leave it like a dream. Walk the gravel road until you find a paved one. Unless you like that gravel road...then continue on it. It's your decision. Just don't look back. Don't let the ghosts find you wherever you may go. And don't let something so simple become so haunting. Don't let it damage you. Don't let it define you. And by God's grace, don't let it own you.