Once upon every four years...

So it's that time soon! Election! Okay, so usually I don't go all crazy or excited over a time like this. It's a 50 50 shot here. It will be either a better four years for our nation...or...well...it could possibly blow up in our faces. These are the facts. And in my opinion...yes...it blew up like fire and gasoline last election. I cried. The economy crashed and people who were getting ahead ended up sinking because they had to pay for people who sat around and did nothing. These are facts too. I don't say anything that I don't look up first.
Normally I wouldn't be posting about anything that had to do with politics because, well, until now they were all shady, crooked liars, that spoke nothing but crap. Now? Now I think that we have something to look forward to if this nation comes together and makes the right choice. We have Romney! Now, I'm not saying he's a savior, we only have one of those. But he does seem to be on Americas side. He seems to be on the side for the underdogs. He seems to be on the side willing to fight for what's left of this nation. And that's what America really needs.
Obama has all but destroyed us. He has focused more on getting other countries to like him then anything. I'm sorry! I live in America, not Islam, China, or Russia. I'm focused on keeping this country going!  So that's nice of him huh? But people of America had allowed him to do so, while the rest sat back and watched not knowing what to do. Hands tied. Right? Unchain yourself and step up!
Okay, okay. Coexist? One word I keep hearing a lot of. That sounds great, in theory. I'm all for it, but not if we have to lay down and be others countries doormat. Not if we have to kiss people of other religions, and ethnics feet and asses. I am not an ass kisser and never have been. Nor will I ever be. In fact there never will be peace. 
Our fathers, friends, family members, and fore fathers did not fight for our freedom for it to be taken away by ONE MAN! And if one man can change a nation for the worse this much, imagine what a bunch of people could do once they got together. We could change things for the better. So do what you have to. Fight? Do it. Uprise? Do it. Vote for Romney! I am.
Really everyone. After we are dead and gone. After we can't care anymore, our kids will still be here. Our grandkids. Give them something to hold on to. Give them an America that we grew up knowing. Give them a solid place to stand and a nation to be proud of, because if we keep going down the road that we are on, we won't have that. The outcome will be bleak and miserable. Our freedom will slowly dimish along with our power to do anything. So while we have the power, do something great with it. Stand for something with a purpose. Don't be a doormat. Fight.

Poison

A while back my sister and I had started this challenge. I was kind of skimming across some of the things that I had written during this. I never finished the challenge, but wouldn't mind starting it back up:) So here is another open page from one of my journals. It's called Poison. Enjoy!

 

Poison

I saw it creeping up like a train losing track.
And when it came upon me there was no looking back.
Some people called me crazy and maybe I was.
It did'nt turn out how I imagined, it rarely ever does.
I was tricked just like with the apple killing Snow White.
I was locked in the darkness.
I never saw light.

The poison dripped slowly on my lips.
It was tasted with my tongue, seemingly hard to resist.
You know I never suspected it.
We were a tragedy in the making.
Now I'm Sleeping Beauty in the middle of her waking.

You know that poisoned apple was such a beautiful sight.
And as I grabbed on I did'nt know you were as dark and cold as night.
You used to shine so bright, but I watched your stardust fade.
And in my golden glass tomb you left me to lay.
And so I continued to lay, waiting for my prince.
The beautiful, enchanted hero that would give me my one second chance.

The poison felt like fire burning through my veins.
And part of me was scared that I'd never be the same.
But as soon as my heros lips touched mine, the fire ceased to burn and I opened up my eyes.
The darkness around faded fast, and all the pretty lights were brightly shining at last.

Dear Ones

Dear Ones,
 Hello. Some of you don't know me, but I know every one of you. I was there when you were born and knew everything that you were made to be. I instilled it in you/. Some took off with it. Some ignore it. Some of you went down different paths. I could have forced you to become what I wanted you to be, but I loved you to much so I gave you free will instead. Some of you fight for me, some die for my name, and some turn your back and pretend that we've never known each other. I remember you. You stand and pretend that you are alive, but the light has far faded out of your eyes , leaving them dark. You believe lies. A lot of what happens in this world is blamed on me and people scream "Why don't you do something? Prove to me that you are here." Then the ones who stand beside me know that I haven't done it, the human race and decisions that they have made have done it to themselves. They've wounded each other. In more ways then one. I could save everyone, but then, again comes in free will.  I can't make you change. The ones who know my love have felt it and know that their belief in  me will give them the peace and hope. They don't need proof. Proof is already in them.
I used to have a place in this world but I was slowly pushed out. I used to have a place in America, but I'm feeling the push there too. I'm barely hanging on. The ones who remember what they are here for are the only ones who have given me a reason and have invited me to stay. They still fight daily but they are feeling the push too. I have given them the strength to push back, and they will.
Some of my most brave have offered themselves up to fight for the whole. I'm with them all the time and they really need me, because a lot of the ones that they are fighting for have turned their back on them too. The call them trespassers, killers. They are not. They are doing what I have sent them to do. To keep the defense to save all from slaughter. To put themselves before others. When they are knocked down, they pick up their swords and fight again. I've given them that determination.
People used to say my name out loud, now I rarely hear it, and people fighting for peace have turned a blind eye and don't even notice the irony in it all. This nation used to stand for me, some say it still does, and the fight continues. Who will win? The light. The light outshines all darkness. And those in the light will rise in victory with me by their side. I'm always there. I hold your life in my hands. I want to hold your heart.
-God-

Beneath The Willow

Green, beautiful, magical, tall, and safe. Full of grace, mystery...life. Trees. The most amazing of this world. The only place since I was a child where I have ever felt truly happy and completely free. There is no other place I would rather be then surrounded by trees.
As a child I remember running off at any chance, climbing trees and spending hours in them reading and dreaming. I was content. I felt safe as the long branches wrapped around me like arms. They held mystery and questions as I questioned to myself where the fairies lived and if they would mind that I'm climbing and hanging from their home.
Now as an adult, whenever I can find an escape I run to the woodline again and go in as deep as I can, hopping over streams, and from log to log, watching carefully to not run into any spider webs and listening for signs of snakes. I take the kids so that they can develop  the same love as I did, and we sit for hours searching through the stream for different rocks, and sometimes wading around while  I watch from the limbs of a tree above them.
It's where I go to think, to feel. To see things a little more clearly from other perspectives then mine. I go there sometimes to plan, plot, strengthen myself and stand a little straighter. It's where I go for a healing. The sound of the life around me revives me, wakens me, and brings out all my senses. The smells of the woods, sounds of the distant footsteps of some small animal or maybe a deer spying. It brings out the taste of the wind, and the feeling of the bark and moss under my fingertips. It allows me to see the world for all of the beauty that it holds. The wind whispers to me to thank God for being alive. Every bit of it reminds me that my true home is beneath the Willow. There my spirit will remain.

Dear John; You're my song

Dear John,
You see the stars in a different light then mine.
You don't think the moon can possibly shine more then now.
You search for the milky way, then turn to me and say,
"Hey, by the way you're so pretty tonight."
And I say, "What a beautiful lie."
And you know me better then anyone,
You make me tick, so hypnotic,
And when the crickets sing,
I love you more then anything,
You're my song.
You're my song.
You stay up late, just to see if I'm okay,
And I don't really think it gets any better then now,
Nothing is quite perfect,
But it feels like it is when you say,
"Hey, by the way, you're beautiful tonight."
And I feel alright.
Lead me down the moonlit path,
With the lamp and stars we'll find our way back,
It's never completely dark,
When you hold my heart.

Inside my mind /open page/Intro

 Intro

Just a little intro to the far corners of my mind.
Jumbled up thoughts that intensify with time.
Please beware, enter at your own risk.
I also warn you some thoughts are hard to resist.
There are words that have been tasted, but were hard to part.
And images that stutter and stop the heart.
Dreams and fantasies of long windy roads.
Lavender skies and an undying rose.
Everlasting love that never grows old.
And pink and blue orchid petal trees, brilliant and bold.
There are visions of dark places too, cold and black.
All you see is night and you never know where you're at.
There are no stars, fireflies, or moon.
And you feel the disaster that will be coming soon.
If you sink in the deep abyss you will never get out.
And fear crawls over you along with doubt.
Your only chance of freedom is a hero to save the day.
To lead you up the staircase and ask you to stay.
There is so much magic in every single thought.

If you peek around the corners you may find that what is there is what you've sought.

But as I said, be careful cause once you're in you just may change.
And everything about you will never be the same.

Push

In today's society you push, or be pushed. You trample or get trampled on. You fight or suffer the blows. It seems that evil will try to kill out and dimish any kind of light that it finds. If you have light, it burns out. Others...burn it out. Kill it. You have to be strong, pick up your sword, and fight for what you believe in, or it will be taken away. And trust me...it WILL be taken away. The most sensitive and meek are the first to be crushed. The wold hardens you and devours you. The ones you trust the most are the ones that turn you bitter. And if you don't watch your every step and take what people say lightly, you're soul can be crushed, and your heart will turn cold. Keep your eyes open. Keep them wide. Walk steady, be ready to back yourself up, and never falter. When you fall, stand again. Keep standing. Keep walking into the chaos with your head high. Stay alert. Stay strong. Never let anyone take away your spark, your fire to perservere. Never let anyone tell you that you can't, because you most certainly can. Never let anyone tell you that what you believe is wrong, because it's not. Do NOT back down. Walk forward, never backward. Steady your heart, and breathe.

My son Steven has just started school, and for the first week he was terrified. I sent him off to school again Monday, and I talked to him. This is what I said...
"I believe in you. I believe in everything that you can do and everything that you set out to accomplish. I believe in everything that you believe in. But, you have to push yourself to do the things that you want to do the most. You have to push yourself to do the things that you are scared of the most. This is life, and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is sometimes the most important thing. You can't live in safety. You have to feel fear to understand it and move past it. I believe that you can do this, because you are strong. You are MY son, and you...are...strong and fearless. You are mine. I had you so that I can watch you and everything that it is that you want to be. I want to see all the wonderful things that you can become. I want to see how you, Steven, can change this world for the better. I want you to be better than me. You are really going to be a something. Because you shine. So go make a friend and I will be there to pick you up."

I sent him to school right after and left him with tears in his eyes. The next day, he walked in without me. When I went to retrieve him two hours later, he was smiling and sliding down every slide on the playground that there was. This was because my little five year old didn't let the world, put out his  fire. He didn't let his fears hold him back. He pushed himself. He left his comfort zone, and made a friend. And I am so proud of him. This goes to show that though evil tries to kill out any light...it will NEVER win.

Here's To Us

Here's to the random days where it feels like you're doing the same old routine that you do every other day. Here's to your kids screaming and fighting with each other and then running to you to tattle on. Here's to your car breaking down when you have no money in the bank, and then here's to a loved one giving you a loan to get the to expensive part that you need, and then you're daddy helping your husband put it on. Here's to a simple dollar in your pocket. Here's to your broken shower being fixed. Here's to school coming up the next day for a still very scared five year old boy. Here's to no matter how much he fears it, the fact is, nothing could ever seperate me from his side. Nothing could ever make me walk away.
 Here's to a little girl with a cough and the sniffles, and going a long sleepless night trying to settle her and bring down her fever. Here's to a husband that is irrational, and complicated, but also very selfless and you love him back for ever bit of who he is. Here's to a family that no matter how many times you have disaggreements, we are always there for each other, and will always have the others back. Here's to giving whatever it is you can to simply help. Here's to not having much, but not needing much either and realizing a long time ago that that isn't what matters in life anyways. Here's to what we really need. The air, a heartbeat, a hug, and a kiss. What we really need is a shooting star, a wish in the sky, to say goodbye, to hear I love you. We need the one that holds our hand, that calls us mommy, to care, and have someone care. We need a soft kiss on the cheek from a child. We need to cuddle with a kitten. We need to give without expecting anything back. Never loan. Give.
We need the moonlight on our face, and the warmth of the sun running through our fingertips, feeling like you're spirit is being zapped with energy, leaving you tingling. We need a rain that cleanses and leaves you purified, and we need a bird to build a nest in your favorite bird house. We need to grow something from a seed and feel a sense of accomplishment when you see the full blooms and flowers. We need to grow a tree and plant it so that it will live here on this earth long after you will be here. We need God. We need life. We need the small things. And most of all we need to know that everything is going to be okay.
So here's to you. Here's to me. Here's to life.

My Dearest Rose (excerpt)

My Dearest Rose,
Here it all is. A life a fantasy and tragedy. A life of love and happiness and bitterness and death. A life that's mine. My life as I will ever know it. All of my memories etched on paper. All of them timeless, treasured, unchanged, and untouched. Some are tragic and painful, but some are well loved and joyous. With every life there are up's and there are down's. It's the price you have to pay to be alive, but live you do. One day you will experience heartbreak, but keep in mind that when it happens that the pain will not last long and you will soon find love to replace it. The love? Well, the love lasts longer then this world will allow. I know that you won't be able to read this until you're older, but maybe by then you will understand.
Here precious one, I give you a memento, a keepsake to take along with you through your travels and journeys in life. Don't ever let anybody tell you that you can't, because whatever it is you want to do, you can. You're better, you're strong, you're beautiful, and you're more then good enough. Most of all you are forever loved.
If you need someone to hold you, I'm here. If you need someone strong, you got your dad. That man is stronger than he realizes, in more ways than one. If you need an older brother to do the things that older brothers do, well, you got one of those. Listen to this last part though Rose, if you fall and all you seemt o do is keep on falling, you have God. As for me, I have just realized that, but I want that knowledge instilled in you.
If you think that this book is ending, you are wrong. This book has many more chapters to fill the empty pages as we continue making sweet and sorrowful memories, as we keep on choosing the right decisions and tripping over our mistakes. So, no Rose, this is not the ending, just the beginning.
My love eternally,
Your mother

Pt.1 Once Upon A Time

Imagine a place not perfect, but everyone loved you anyways. Imagine a place where everyone still believed in you. A world of sunny days running through meadows of flowers trying to be careful of snakes, but not really caring because you always seem to see them right before you step down.
An incomplete picture of rainy evenings, dancing under the big droplets, and watching your big bucket fill up inch by inch with clear, perfect water falling off of the side of your old, familiar, safe house. Never needing to bathe that night because nature took care of that chore for you.
Running bare feet, mud squeezing through your toes and the feeling of grass, soft, underneath you like a  pillow.
Imagine YOUR childhood memories at it's best.
Then...imagine your world fades.
I once new a girl with a childhood like that.
Now...imagine that girl.
And listen to her story.

Once upon a time,
In a land not far from here,
There lived a girl of sixteen,
Her beauty quite rare.

In this land of beating hearts,
There were also many woes,
None that you'd care to listen,
Only one she'd come to know.

For this girl the clock struck twelve,
And there, she was carried away,
Later found under a tree,
Torn and broken, there she lay.

Her defenses were mild,
She believed too much,
She was easy to devour,
The wolf hardened her touch.

Dressed in white,
With a touch of red,
We never knew what happened,
She never said.

Until she fell in love,
With a beautiful prince,
He held out his hand,
She gave him a chance.

Two years of laughter,
Two years of good cries,
Two years passes,
And then two years dies.

After two years was paid,
A dragon breathed fire,
He grabbed for the girl,
Her chances a thin wire.

We all heard the heart of the prince,
It pounded like a drum,
He grabbed for his sword,
We all saw him run.

Later she came back,
He never did,
Again, we don't know what happened,
She never said.

In fact, she never spoke again,
She just sat day and night,
The light she once held,
Never again bright.

There she sat,
A latern in one hand,
Under the willow,
Waiting for him.

Her dress, now, merely black,
Her eyes always a mist,
Long hair blowing,
A look hard to resist.

Beautiful back then,
Beautiful now,
Beautiful beneath the rain,
But beautiful how?

Some say she died with him that day,
She would never leave him,
She would forever stay.

Some say it's just her ghost that we all see,
That their soul's had somehow seperated,
that they're searching for each.

She never seems to sleep,
And she never, ever leaves,
Sitting and searching,
Beneath the willow tree.

I had my doubts,
A skeptic at sight,
Until I saw it myself,
On that memorable night.

There she was, sitting,
Blue eyes against the moon,
The latern in her hand,
And then I saw another soon.

It came from the woods nearby,
It seemed deep within,
Then it finally surfaced,
And brought the prince with it.

They stared hard at each other,
And then there was a smile,
The girl finally raised up,
It had been quite a while.

He held out his hand,
Never unsure,
The girl at last accepted,
Just as she did before.

She followed him into the woods,
I stayed a while there after,
They never  returned,
And then I heard laughter.

That was the last we saw of her,
I don't know why that night.
Why did it take so long,
for them each to catch sight?

Some say she died,
Some say she moved away,
Some say this town is now cleansed,
Though her footprints 'neath the willow stay.

I say they're finally happy,
Two souls finally at peace,
Them two, still together,
Two broken hearts at ease.

I tell you this story now,
To always remember the girl that's been.
I tell you a story of love,
That is never to be forgotten.

The End

My new hair color! And...it's normal? Who woulda thought...

Words that matter

I need you as much as I need the air I breathe. I love you more then I love myself. If you die I die with you. I'll never leave you behind. I want to dance with you beneath the street light in the pouring rain. I would drench my perfect  dress in a storm just to kiss you in the street. I see you when you think that no one else does. I believe in everything you do. I believe in everything that we can be together. We are two lost souls who have found and saved one another. We are a different stitch of fabric in piece of silk. You are me and I am you. It was written in the stars. We belong next to each other.
The above is something that every being on this ever loving earth as ached to hear from someone special at sometime in their life. Those are the very words that can change a life drastically in just the nick of time. Those are the words that will be remembered forever. Those are the words that count. Make it count. Say what you mean and feel what you say. Love can change everything. Love can change you. It changes me. It makes me a better person by each passing day. It makes me who I want to be. It inspires me and drives me to be better and ever changing. Ever loving. After all... that is the way that EVERYONE deserves to be loved. Tell someone you love them and watch them genuinely smile.

I guess we'll see!

Well, I linked my blog to my google account so you all can get to it easier and see my updates and posts. If I don't like it I guess we'll see about switching it back? So who can tell I don't take to well to common change? Oops!

Fearless

Okay folks! Todays topic? Being Fearless, or becoming fearless. Whichever you choose:)
First off I want to start off clarifying something though. Yes, in My Dearest Rose Jason and Iris fell in love quickly. For those who think that it's impossible has never been in love. You don't have to work on it. I know this because it had happened to me...twice.
The only two times I have ever been in love, I knew instantly that I couldn't be without this guy. The first boy that had introduced me to this strange, untamed feeling no longer exists anywhere but my memory and heart. The second I had met, we were together in two weeks, and married in four months. Yeah, yeah...I've already had those looks. The "Wow! That's fast! They'll never make it!" looks, but over seven years and two children later we're still here and he in my eyes is still the same guy that saved the life, and what was left of the heart of a reckless 17 year old girl back in February of 05. One of the toughest times in my life. So, that my friends, is exactly why I had to put in Iris and Jason's immediate love for one another. Impossible connection. Because it is possible. Because it happens. Especially when two souls are meant to save one another.

Now Fearless. There is a quote that I have always remembered ever since I had first read it, and believe it or not, has at many times kept my spark of hope and dreams going. Taylor Swift (whom I love!) had said quite around "Fearless isn't being in the absence of fear. It is being able to do things in the midst of it. It's being  able to do the things that scare you the most. That is fearless." Thus giving her the title of her second album.

I completely believe that with all of my heart. Simply because if being fearless meant you were not scared of anything  then you are not human. Every one has a fear. Most unspoken. But it's still there. So...with this being said...this little quote has kept me writing and putting myself out there. It helped get me up on stage that first time with my guitar. It has helped me meet new people and make new friends. It has inspired me. And now it makes me want to fly. (In a plane I mean.) Yes, I am terrified. I have never been on a plane, but I have a strong feeling that one day I will board one and make it through, whether it be with this quote or sedatives:)

But more importantly who is it in your life that makes you feel fearless? Who is it that keeps you going and your belief that one day all of this will mean something? If you have that someone, I'm happy. More then happy, proud! It's a fantastic thing to have that person in your life. One that encourages you instead of drowns you. If you don't, keep searching. You will find him/her. And when you do you will know, because just like with Jason and Iris it is instant. Just like with me, it is a fire that cannot be controlled. It comes on quick, leaves your head spinning and sometimes heart aching. Find that person and make them yours. Be, in every aspect of the word, fearless.