Resolutions

Last year was the year of tattoos. Lots of them. Things that represents what matters to me so much. It was also the year of books. Lots and lots of book collecting, reading, writing, editing, releasing, and more writing. And so this year will be as well. There will be some changes though.

One word. Magic.

I believe people create their own magic. We believe, we work, and we earn what magic is given to us. It took me a while to decide what my New Years Resolution would be. But after careful thought, magic is what it came down to. I want more than anything a magical year full of health and happiness. I want a year of smiles, laughter, celebrations with amazing people I love, or maybe have just met. I want to remember lost ones with a smile instead of pain. I want to let go of bitterness, discomfort, and rage. I want to stand straight and say that I have won. And with the help of my God and family, I think that I can. But I have also realized that I have to also help myself. I have to want this bad enough. Without determination all else will fail.

So with that in mind I know what I must first do is strengthen myself. I have to strengthen myself in every way possible. My body, my mind, my heart, and my soul. I have to train my muscles and my thoughts. I have to breathe fresh air into my lungs and then release it. I must keep a level head and balance logic and dreaming. I have to allow myself to feel while keeping a thick skin. It's all about balance, which I confess, I have never really  been very good at.

But I have to become the person that I want to be. I have to become the girl that is strong beyond reason. The girl that will keep walking even when I feel weak. I will learn to trust some and forget others. I will notice my senses and instincts and believe in them. I will shine even brighter than before. And because of all of this I will laugh more. I will not be afraid to love and let the important ones in. I will speak and others will have no choice but to listen. I will go to more concerts and stay up till midnight watching stupid movies. I will have confetti at my birthday and walk small town streets. I will find more antique stores and will learn how to make my own dreamcatchers. I will shoot straighter and I will aim higher. I will show more and hide less. I will move and feel my own freedom. I will spread my wings that have been bound. I must become someone that I would want my son and daughter to be. And I will show them everyday that everything, EVERYTHING, is possible.