I like you

You were twenty six, older then me. But I didn't care in the state of dreaming. Warm conversation and empty hearts. We'd given up on love. We only wanted to restart. My ex kept calling, I inevitably silenced the phone. You laughed about it when we were alone. You had a fight in your demeanor. I had a wide eyed gaze. Yellowcard playing in a near empty room. Endless...colored...graceful days. We broke where we bent. Time well spent. It never occured to me that I would never see you again cause I liked you. I liked you. I liked you. Rock, paper, scissors. I always beat you. Friends and t.v, just you and me-
And fireworks on top of your car. Finding out who you really are. And you asked about life. I answered with a sigh...that I...
I like you. I like you. I like you.

In Our Eyes

He had those shining blue eyes and I had just a reason to stay. I'd never imagined it would all go away. I smile when I remember you, before I remember that you're gone. What a sad, tragic, ending to a love. What a sad, tragic ending to a love. It's never been told, though you've heard it before. It echoes in nightmares, the ending of dreams. You've heard it in water, drowning fast now, getting stronger. A story untold. A story best known, in our eyes. There's only beeping machines and a silent t.v. All these ghosts look like you and me. What the hell do I do with what's left now? Worn out t-shirts I've seen a hundred times. Telling everyone that I'll be just fine. But I won't. But I won't. I see you in conversation about anything but how you feel. Lips warm, eyes bright, looking the way you did that starry night. We speak again but not about what's really been. Because we're breaking . Oh, because we've both lost too much. I wake up but you're not there. I try to sleep so you'll reappear. 'Cause your favorite sweater still hangs on the back of my chair, even now. After all this time.

For mama:) Bette Davis Eyes (Cover)

From the time I can remember my life and family has been centered around writing and music. The love for music started at a very young age. And between my mother and grandma I knew of a very wide range of music from all different decades and genres. From swing, to big band, then we have folk, and blues, all the way to 60's and 70's classics, to 80's rock. Then when I was a teenager I introduced myself to the music from today that I have also come to love. This song specifically is for my mother Robin. Bette Davis Eyes was introduced to me as a young teen and it instantly became one of my favorite songs. Mind you that I am no Kim Carnes, and also mind you that this was done in one take and I had only learned it a few days ago. So here's to music, here's to the classics that have made it all the way to today's era, and all the music that has survived generations through the times and changes of society and life. Here's to the parents that teach such a range of music. Here's to head banging in the backseat when you're a baby. Here's to niave teenage parents that had their babies, loved them and have made it despite of mistakes. Things that a parent instills in their children survive, grow, flourish, and make it with them through their life and into adulthood. These precious things are then passed on to their children who will hopefully embrace them and turn them into cherished memories.  Here's to you mama...<3

Abyss

The abyss is deep, black, ever flowing,
Fearful, empty, never knowing.
Step off the edge,
Free fall through,
Thick, dark clouds,
Are swallowing you.
Consumed with burning,
Counting mistakes,
Tally up the flaws,
Everything is at stake.
I've been shoved,
I've been beat,
It was stupid to wait,
I would tell you that I miss you,
But it's too late.
I've stood in the rain,
I've drank in the night,
I have paid my fair share,
I have never been right.
I love you more, and more today,
I  love you now,
I loved you yesterday.
My chest feels tight,
My heart is in my throat,
Only memories left,
And pathetic, empty notes.
You are intruding,
Breaking my defense,
Devouring my dreams,
Now nothing makes sense.
The abyss equals crazy.
Do you wonder if I am?
I'm still free falling,
As fast as I can.
All in my mind,
Still on the edge,
Dreamed in a vision,
I've tip toed the ledge.
I am not a bird,
I am not a hero,
My sword in not here,
The blood count is zero.
I am not a bird.
But I have one broken wing,
I write what I know,
I write what I sing.
I put my arms down,
And take a step back,
Leaving the ledge where it is,
Compassion is what it lacks.
I breathe in the night,
And release a few tears,
You are not in the abyss,
In fact, you still reside here.

Let's get a like for anyone who agrees

It's funny how some people get some weird twisted impersonations of a others being weak in the mind, and in strength. I am not sexist. This goes for everybody. There are a lot of lovely men out there, that talk intellectually to women, who see them for who they are, and who do not try to take advantage. Some of my friends are kind like this, some of my family, and even my husband, and I have the upmost respect for them. But speckled in is a person who thinks that they can call you honey, beautiful, dear, sweetheart, and you will get weak in the knees. Your heart will just melt and you are at their bidding. Seriously? Granted, some women (and men) may be like this, but it doesn't qualify for everyone.
I was naive and very trusting when I was younger. As I grew my ignorance turned to strength and questioning, and my trust diminished drastically. I look for others ulterior motives, any other angles they may try to hide, I look in their eyes, and listen to their voice first to make a decision on if they could ever be trusted in any way. I am not cynical. I am safe. I do have a gaurd. Not to mention that by nature I am an awkward person. I've come a long way with my emotions and mentality. I've come along way in the issues of learning and living. Learning all of this has cost me, but it has made me who I am and I would not take that back. Because who I am has given me a physical, mental, and emotional strength. And I know that there are other men and women out there who has had to learn painful lessons in the past, men and women who won't go back to how they were. So sweet nothings? Nonsensical talking? We're not falling for it. I'm not falling for it. So honey, walk away.

Deep In The Meadow/ Rue's Lullaby Cover

Here's a cover song for all of you. It's Deep In The Meadow/ Rue's Lullaby from The Hunger Games Soundtrack. I sing it to my kids everynight before bed. I hope you enjoy it <3

Reasons To Fight

Lion or the lamb? Which one are you? Are you going to be led by nonsensical views to your death and destruction? A wolf in sheeps clothing filled with empty promises. Will you fight until the end and then rise above all that had been. Don't be fooled by sweet nothings. Don't be tricked by the mouth the poison seeps from. Don't back down. Don't die for nothing. Make it worth while <3 If you can't find any reason to carry on, here's some REASONS TO FIGHT. Enjoy!

Throw down the sword,
Then await the slaughter,
Drawn by your mouth,
Drawn to the water.

As a lamb,
Being prepared for a feast,
Pull up a chair,
To say the least.

Onset by foolishness,
And a thousand blind eyes,
Ignoring the truth,
Dripping in lies.

The dead being led,
By their own feet,
Smiling as they walk,
A line of fresh meat.

Watched at in awe,
Not a tear to show,
How can you be so stupid?
You really should have known.

Death, shame, threats,
Heart's torn,
You wear it on youur sleeve,
It's faded and worn.

It should have been covered and hidden,
Barely human to the naked eye,
It should have been forbidden,
So no one could see the wild you hide.

It would have been safer,
Had your armor been on,
Now you are weak, defenseless,
Screaming for more.

As you trot to the fire,
Your children behind you,
You think that you are above,
Anything that they could do.

Arrogance is dangerous,
You're incompetent and disgusting,
To lead your son and daughter,
Straight to the gutting.

Do you believe the smiles,,
In spite of what you know now?
Venom seeping through,
You did everything but bow.

You broke a few hearts,
Fighting your defense,
Your fighting meant nothing,
You've been tossed over the fence.

Your fight still means nothing,
Broken hearts are few,
Your time is now up,
The smoke is in view.

Is this what was expected,
By you and so much more?
Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you've been waiting for?

You threw your sword down,
You've been led to the slaughter,
And you have brought with you,
Your son and your daughter.

You are the lamb,
Prepared for the feast,
So please, pull up a chair,
You will never leave.

Charming

All consuming,
Man on fire,
In flames with him,
We devour the hour.

Snow White,
Rose Red,
Dark Blue,
Blood,
Pieces to play,
Wait for the flood.

Touch, tender,
Kiss and fingertips,
Tasted too sweet,
It fell from your lips.

Hands entertwined,
Wrapped in your hair,
Your music is loud,
It comes from nowhere.

Enchanted, Intriguing,
You shine in the dark,
Seeping your poison,
Engulfed in your spark.

Never to be dissevered,
Two halves, one whole,
Easy to defend,
Hard to console.

The mockingbird sings,
I hum him a tune,
He plays it for me,
He sings it to you.

Dragged to the water,
To live or to drown,
Your eyes are on fire,
I don't care what you do now.

Mother sun,
Father moon,
Perfect hands,
Gone too soon.

The Charming I know,
The Charming I feel,
Your words can kill,
Your hands can heal.

More blood and games,
I will find you,
I always will,
I believe you still.

Taken away,
A reflection of him,
I will find you,
Echoes again.

Looking at iron,
The smell sickens me still,
He found me again,
As he said he will.

Charming in red,
Charming in black,
A sword of steel,
Anger, attack.

Kiss on the lips,
Hand in my hand,
I will always love you,
I'll find you again and again.

All consuming,
Man on fire,
In flames with him,
We devour the hour.

Snow White,
Rose Red,
Pumping,
Blood,
Playing the game,
With the rise of the flood.

Once upon a time,
You and me,
Once upon a time,
True love free.