Broken Castle

Try it in a day.
Try it again in a week.
Or maybe in a year.
Just come back around.
Maybe it's in the stars.
Or in another cities lights.
Shining on the cars.
Reveling in the bright.
Glowing bright.

Try it in the sun.
Think back to when we were younger.
Look for me down the road.
Unpaved, cracked, and walking slower than before.
Try it just once more.

Broken street lamps in my dreams.
Castle stair steps.
You never know where they may lead or drop off.
Crowns, and gold, and shining things.
They never meant anything to you or me.
We lived to learn and then learned to see.

Chipped off memories.
Falling on the page.
Dust has settled a little every year.
Building our age.
The world is our stage.

Maybe in another world.
Maybe in a separate dream.
Maybe in another lifetime.
Just come back around.
I liked the way that you shined.

The Many Ways To Say It

Lessons of life. My lessons I've learned. Where to go? How to do it? We never come with directions do we? Like we would need any anyway. It's not like we would follow them. It would be like taking someone's advice that we never intend to actually do anything with. We nod politely about how others think we should live and do what we want anyway.

And we have the right to do that. HA! Lessons. Mistakes. Failure. Watch me fall. Watch me writhe. Watch me succeed and go way further than you EVER thought I would. Watch me.

So what lessons am I thinking about today? Nothing really. What I've been thinking about today...and well, lately...as in the past few days is more around the lines of honesty. Honesty! Such a stress reliever right?

I wouldn't know. I've always been honest to a fault. When I'm asked. But most of the time I'm not. Especially about the important things. So I don't say anything at all. What if I wanted to say Good-bye? Or you screwed me over? Or you really messed up? Or I hate what you've become? Or I hate how you can't be honest with yourself? How can it be so easy to lie? To yourself for goodness sake? But what about this? What if...I didn't care? What if I could leave it behind?

There are some people that you have to put in the past. It's where they belong. Digging them up would be like digging up a grave. Like reliving not only the best but worst days of your life. It would be like trying to reverse what can never be.

There are some people that you have to lovingly and adoringly set aside and forget on most days and remember for just a second on very few. No matter how hard it may be. There are some people that you have to tuck away in your heart of hearts. You have to put them in that small room you have reserved back for only them, and you have to lock that door.

And then? Then...there are some of those people (we all know at least one) that you have to put in your past with a sweet finger gesture or two and a therapeutic piss off.

Whether it's the beautiful souls that have lightened your path in life, the ones that you will never forget, or the people that taught you a lesson, or even the ones that were a complete mistake. Put them away.

Put them in your heart. Make them a memory. Throw them in the trash if they're toxic. But don't drink them and turn them into poison. Because, darling, if there is one thing that I know, I know that even the sweetest times can be made bitter. Even the most treasured moments can kill you.

There are MANY ways to say it...
Good-bye.
Good riddance.
I'll see you in the next life.
We'll meet again among the stars.
Always in my dreams.
I'll miss you terribly.
Or...
Fuck off.
And..
Never again.

They are all hard. But they are necessary. Walk away. Leave it like a dream. Walk the gravel road until you find a paved one. Unless you like that gravel road...then continue on it. It's your decision. Just don't look back. Don't let the ghosts find you wherever you may go. And don't let something so simple become so haunting. Don't let it damage you. Don't let it define you. And by God's grace, don't let it own you.

Awakening Iris Excerpt!

Here I am in my little reading nook reading an excerpt from Awakening Iris! I hope you enjoy this short reading! Remember that the electronic versions of Awakening Iris is now on sale with the rest of the romance section at cressenbooks.com! And you can continue the reading by reading the first chapter for free! Have a lovely day friends!

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Setting Fire To The Sun

I remember the Raven from my dreaming,
Breathing loudly, silent screaming.
Diamonds lay on empty stands.
Emeralds spill from my right hand.

Throwing darts at the sky,
A city map with nowhere to run.
Praying to the angels,
And setting fire to the sun.

Gold and Stone

Humanity closed in and suffocating in hate,
Empathy lost, destruction sealing your fate.
The sunsets are dying,
I can feel it inside,
I see something faulty in the majorities eyes.
Mosaic angels weep our blood,
And you can't see beyond the darkness that you love.
Whispering shadows crawl on the ground,
Splintering windows reflect what I know now.
Does your reflection make you happy and safe?
Are you telling yourself that it's not too late?
Veneer crushed in the bathroom sink,
Black ink clouds and won't allow you to think.
Breathe in the sparkle and exhale out the dust,
You're cruel and misguided, you're not one of us.
The more I know you the more you hide,
The more you make yourself into something that I don't like.
You crush the innocent despite their cries,
You think you know everything but all you know is a lie.
None of us can breathe, we all kill what we need,
We plow each other over, worse than animals it seems.
They still protect while we play with emotion,
We twist what we want despite the devotion.
The edges of your eyes are dark, I will escape,
You will miss your mark.
Humans are filled to the top with greed,
We never want the things that we  really need.
Materials own us and bind us in chains,
We lose our self in silks sand pain.
Breathe in trust, peaceful nights, and starlit skies,
Remember whether by fire, water or ice everyone dies.
What are you made of?
Sinew and blood?
Or did you trade it for stone and gold?
How does life taste now with your blood running cold?

Dear John

Dear John,

You remind me of sunny summer says and fireworks on the hood of your car. You remind me of pain, and redemption, hurt, and how it feels to be safe for once. You remind me of Bonnie and Clyde on Wednesday nights with popcorn. You remind me of Theraflu, chicken noodle soup, and every Marilyn Monroe movie that you could find when you first saw me sick.

You remind me of trying to save birds and naming fish and plants. You remind me of TGI Fridays, city streets, Starbucks lattes on cold winter nights, new apartments, antique shops, and donuts for dinner while watching stupid reality shows.

You remind me of fine lines between faith and hope, salvation and sin. You remind me of random dances and flashes of color on concert nights. You remind me of not getting home until two in the morning and empty morning streets. You remind me of sunrises and western pink sunsets.

You remind me of Steak N Shake shakes and cold pizza on the side of the road. You remind me of getting stuck in the snow and long walking trips up an icy driveway in the darkness of night with a full moon guiding us. You remind me of helping people, whether we know them or not. You remind me of no questions asked. And you remind me of Purple Rain.

You remind me of bookstores and the weight of an armful of new novels and classics. You remind me of all night LOST marathons and chocolate kisses. You remind me of frosty air on my lips and cold winter days in the woods.

You remind me of happy songs with the windows down and dancing in the car. You remind me of wood and the smell of sawdust, and of trunks and talent. You remind me of geese and picnics, politeness and charm.

You also remind me of stupid fights, storming out, and then making up five minutes later.

I see you in our children. I see you in roses, lilies, and in the sunshine. I see you in beauty, magic, all things defined, and everything worth fighting for. I love you.

Love eternally,
Jess