Whisper and Whine

Whisper and Whine

Stay with me and fight the dark/
Lose your sight and miss your mark/
Tattooed, branded. burned by flame/
Blue, green, and thirsty, the undead game.
Light is dark, dark is light/
Stand to run, I'm wrong you're right/
There's no gray area, no silver line/
It starts with a scream and whispers a whine.
For everyone who ever wanted to stay/
You've run off the track and lost your way/
Hansel and Gretel leave your moonbeams behind/
Scattered with crumbs that you'll never find.
Oh, the holy games as wicked as you/
Passing judgements knowing everything that you do/
You live yours and I'll live mine/
Together we'll leave something far behind.
Because you live in the sun and I in the night/
You block out my stars and I your light/
Dear Hansel, and oh Gretel keep your moonbeams in your pocket/
Keep your sister at your side and my picture in your locket.
Find me when I need you/
Love me while I'm here/
Keep me in your heart/
And cry me in your tears.
I'm light, you're dark, you're dark and light/
Blue is blue and wrong is right/
Twisted, distorted, a grand way to scheme/
To change what's real and what we see.
But for now I'm blue and you are green/
We'll intertwine together as fire unseen/
Fire is fire but the earth is power/
It'll rip down the wires binding this hour.
Screaming and crying, whispers and whines.
Screaming and fighting, whispers and cries.

Honeysuckle and Dew

Decayed leaves from a twisted tree,
Tethered to the ground and as bent as me.
Freedom is here but it doesn't come cheap,
Pay the price for your keep.
Ashes are scattered and carried by the wind,
The realization that some things just won't mend.
Broken hearts bleed red, perfect and neat,
Just as perfect as the leaves bleeding black under my feet.
Grey skies and ice is spitting,
Oh, I can count the storm from where I'm sitting.
A hundred feet away, a thousand years ago,
Under a million Rose petals on top of the snow.
Cracks are in the ceiling forming strange shapes,
Casting odd shadows the longer I wait.
Ravens burst out from a nearby limb,
They'll be back though I'll never know when.
The blackberry bushes are dead and crackled,
Our feelings for what it's worth is well trained and shackled.
What is an illusion?
What's classified as a lie?
The smile I fake or the secrets you hide?
I remember this place with Honeysuckle and dew,
It smelled so sweet and was as untamable as you.
I remember the fireflies, bats soaring high,
We remember the magic before there were lies.
So let us make a deal now?
You remember me and I will remember you,
We'll recall together the Honeysuckle and the dew.
Because now decayed leaves scatter the ground,
In the same spot where we're starstruck and bound.

Here's my story of "The Girl With Flowers."

You tell a story of another time.
You tell a story that isn't mine.
But I will listen.

A girl dances barefoot here.
Flowers wound in her hair.
Her eyes glisten innocence.

Meadows, breeze, and a distant rope.
They hang her, hate her, 'till she chokes.
A bird sings a tune.

She leaves fighting, she goes mad.
He was all she ever had.
All she had ever held on to.

What we love will die first.
It quenches the worlds undying thirst.
The dancing ceases.

I tell a story of another time.
I tell a story quite defined.
But no one will listen.

My words go unheard.
My words are from another world.
When I read this they still won't listen.

Who will read this when I'm gone?
Who will understand my song?
Who will appreciate my hours?

A penny for my thoughts.
All pre-packaged and well bought.
Just like my girl with flowers.

Just like the girl with flowers.

An entry...A letter of honesty Feb/13

Such a strange, beautiful, lonely, profound existance. Even though we may have someone we are still alone in our own mind. Thoughts come back burning and turning into colors we can relate memories too. Sight, sense, smell. I touch you with my fingertips just to prove to myself that you are real. You are here and not just in my dreams. I close my eyes and swear that I can see you just as before. We never really got over it. We never really let go of us.

The things in this life that should baffle us holds no more suprise. We become unfeeling, used to the same cycle, pattern, same routine. Three a.m phone calls, screaming and injuries more so on the heart, spirit, and self worth than the actual flesh. Your veins are on fire and you run from your fears. But you fear so much that they all blend together. You eventually go back to an aching restless sleep just so that you can waste more time...

Flowers fall from the trees pathing a way for us but you follow the path the black wolf leads you down instead, hot coals burning your feet. Eyes are on fire, you burn, but you won't burn alone. Never. You'll take the ones that have done this to you with you for one person can not suffer silently by ones self. And why should they be free? They started the fire and watched it spread freely while rinsing the blood from their own hands and wiping the slate clean.

It's all an illusion, a scheme dear. We are all actors playing a vital role while trying to carry a piece of humanity with us.

Most of all what I want out of this strange, beautiful, lonely, and profound life that I call mine is to love and be loved in return. And I want to keep what innocence that I have left. I want to hide it safe from the cruel world. They can't have it. Don;t let them take yours!

And now you darling...you are safe. I will cover you up, rest easy. I will fight for you even it means my own life. You will live. You will survive. You will grow old. And you...you my dear will have a story to tell. Tell it.

And remember my story. Start your own and remember dear one that I all do I do for you. All of my choices were made for you. You have given me something precious. You have taken my fears and your love alone as given me a fearless, undying strength as strong as my armor and sword and that darling...that is all that I need. Thank you! But most of all remember that I have loved you...

Jess

Tomorrow Hopes

Today I saw you on the street.
This big wide world and we still meet.
I said "Hey, how you been?"
We sit and talk for a while.
In a diner, I've missed your smile.
You seem to be ok.

Yesterday wasn't good enough.
Next week holds way too much.
Today all we do is cope.
But tomorrow, tomorrow hopes.

We talk of weather, coffee, and old times.
We never say what's really on our mind.
It comes around burning in our heads.
Where's are guard? We should see a wall.
But instead our defenses fall.
A ghost of mistakes we can't take back.

Tomorrow hopes you're here with me.
Tomorrow hopes you'll never leave.
Tomorrow hopes we both shine.
And tomorrow hopes I'll call you mine.

Tomorrow Hopes.

Kaleidoscope

I said I'd meet you at the tracks but you never came.
Wildflowers strewn everywhere waiting for the rain.
First impressions never say anything.
Because if they did I wouldn't have thought you to be something.
And you were something.

Kaleidoscope of you and me.
Fragments on the ground.
But there you are...
Safe and sound.

How long I will wait for a ghost to never come.
The flowers died in the sun.
We never really know what we're scared of, running from.

I would have followed you.
I would have called for you.
I would have fought for you.
Set fire for you.
I would have breathe you in.
Sink into my skin.
I would have loved you out.
We'll never know...now.

I waited at the tracks.
You never came back.
Flowers everywhere.
Waiting for you there...

Fragments/ An entry

Stolen pieces and fragments of the past. Skipped forward, embedded, to make sure that it lasts. I had lost myself in you and that was a mistake. It's a sad life that we've made for each other. Mirrors brand you and force you to see your flaws. Inertia and flesh rips exposed parts, fresh and raw. It all comes back in small glimpses are a world scattered and destitute. We are made out of muscle, bone, and sinew sewn together and lit. Strike a match and there's a blaze of red. A new face merges with the old, streaked and aged.

Pale and everlasting as an immortal born long ago and tragically unseen. Maybe we never really know how we got here. Maybe we'll never exactly recount for every course we traveled that has led us down this unpathed road. Because really...we never follow a particular path. Instead we all tear out our own, ripping the roses from the dirt and we bleeding from the thorns every...single...time. Everytime. We ignore the Honeysuckle's screams and follow the caw of that black crow instead. How smart? How stupid of us? Everytime like an untrained dog we do the same thing, but we're more dangerous to ourselves. We have the inept ablility to destroy our own senses and logical thinking. We have the ability to make permanent decisions.

We have the ongoing purpose of fulfilling our own design. We become selfish. We become concrete and we push away the hardest the people we love the most. Masachists? Informal and discreet we sit in the shadows, waiting for our chance to come alive and repeat the pretty lies told to us that we have come to believe ourself.

I remember how you made me feel and everything was so real to me. Feelings and words morph into one and brings unemotional detached binds that chain me to the wall. Shackles and grey concrete floors. Black sheep or white? Who cares? Forget the cleche' analogies for a second and focus on my own skin. I look for a bit of it and compare it to your own because I want to look nothing like you.

I woke up on my back in a strange land away from anything I was connected to. I was screaming, but you just stood and laughed. You told me to put on a pretty smile and wear my lace dresses with white pearls. Curl my hair and decorate it with flowers. Cover my face. Cover myself with only stories you have portrayed. Because don't we all fear reality?

So there are stolen pieces and fragmental sections placed together into mosaic hearts from the past. They have been forgotten but in some realm lasts evermore. I've ripped the last rose petal and got caught in barbed wire. My knees are scraped and my face a little dirty. I followed the bird hoping it would take me higher with it. How smart I was! Or how stupid...to think that I could survive the wolf's den.